#8. A friend went hog hunting in Arkansas. His guide had a scrawny hound for tracking the hogs. When they stopped for lunch on the second day, my friend offered part of his sandwich to the dog. The dog sniffed it, but wouldn't eat. Turning to the guide he ask what the dog ate. Grits and sour mash was the reply. " Grits and sour mash" exclaimed my friend, " my dog wouldn't eat that!" "Neither would Bo for about a month" replied the guide.
Jay Hickman, one-time house comedian and emcee at the Cheetah III in Atlanta, told this one:
"I hate those goddam cat food commercials with Morris the cat. 'Morris! Time for din-din! You just won't eat anything but 9 Lives, will you?', the woman says.
Bullshit. You stop feedin' that little bastard for about ten days and he'll eat a peanut butter and jelly fuckin' sandwich, and want more!"
The following was told to me as a true story but knowing the culprit, I have my doubts. Still, even if a sea story it's a good tale. A long ago friend once hired on as a farmhand in SW Virginia. After a time getting accustomed to his surroundings, he decided to set up a works. Naturally just for personal consumption. All went well for a period of time and employer-employee were well pleased. Including the employer's daughter. Then came a day when friend had to make an unexpected trip to town. Just so occurring after he'd dumped a cooked batch of mash into a local stream. Naturally, the cows discovered it and indulged. Upon returning from town, friend his employer in a fit and about to shoot the down 'n out cow. Immediately realizing the problem, he confessed to the cause and all soon was well...more or less. Friend ended marrying the daughter and having a career on the railroad with a profitable side business in concrete.
#8. A friend went hog hunting in Arkansas. His guide had a scrawny hound for tracking the hogs. When they stopped for lunch on the second day, my friend offered part of his sandwich to the dog.
ReplyDeleteThe dog sniffed it, but wouldn't eat.
Turning to the guide he ask what the dog ate.
Grits and sour mash was the reply.
" Grits and sour mash" exclaimed my friend, " my dog wouldn't eat that!"
"Neither would Bo for about a month" replied the guide.
LMFAO!
DeleteYou Sir, win The Internet for today!
Jay Hickman, one-time house comedian and emcee at the Cheetah III in Atlanta, told this one:
Delete"I hate those goddam cat food commercials with Morris the cat. 'Morris! Time for din-din! You just won't eat anything but 9 Lives, will you?', the woman says.
Bullshit. You stop feedin' that little bastard for about ten days and he'll eat a peanut butter and jelly fuckin' sandwich, and want more!"
The following was told to me as a true story but knowing the culprit, I have my doubts. Still, even if a sea story it's a good tale.
DeleteA long ago friend once hired on as a farmhand in SW Virginia. After a time getting accustomed to his surroundings, he decided to set up a works. Naturally just for personal consumption. All went well for a period of time and employer-employee were well pleased. Including the employer's daughter. Then came a day when friend had to make an unexpected trip to town. Just so occurring after he'd dumped a cooked batch of mash into a local stream. Naturally, the cows discovered it and indulged. Upon returning from town, friend his employer in a fit and about to shoot the down 'n out cow. Immediately realizing the problem, he confessed to the cause and all soon was well...more or less.
Friend ended marrying the daughter and having a career on the railroad with a profitable side business in concrete.
#15 - Pretends to be a teenage girl.
ReplyDeleteDude's an out of work actor making bank being a caricature of a pre-teen/teenage girl.
4) Don't bring Secretariat into this!
ReplyDeleteThe Red Star Hammer and Sickle Seal of Approval next to Gavie's picture is a nice touch.
ReplyDelete