#19 - A friend was a Methodist Pastor AND a Deputy Sheriff and used to always start that way then "correct" himself, but only at the rehearsals. He said a little humor usually relaxed everyone. Usually.
#9 was my old friend driving by diners, fast food places, and gas stations saying he's got to pee really bad. The asshole finally pulled out a Gatorade bottle and attempted to pee in it. He proceeded to piss all over his hands and got it all over the steering wheel.
Then, he stole Zanax from my sister. He's since moved to Florida and found Jesus... Fuck him!
Electrical tape works just fine too. And if it's fairly new, it doesn't even leave much residue to be scrubbed off when you get off work, either. (Why, yes, I was an electrician, what gave it away?)
#4 - very, very true. Never play that game. #6 - saurkraut. #11 - seen that too many times. sometimes you can get the best of what you want from them #12 - i resent that remark, i'm not that ugly... #14 - damn funny. #15 - ha! #17 - funny, but lots of clothing companies sell their remaindered items in poor countries because they'll wear anything that passes for clothing....can you blame them? #18 - he forgot 'not having to get up and go to work in the morning' #20 - don't forget, the police ususally fire hundreds of rounds when the finally kill a suspect. and that's from semi-auto pistols and rifles. can you imagine their ammo budget if they automatic weapons?
17: I seen a kid with a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, and the comment below was "FFS, don't those people have enough to worry about without having to support the f-ing Leafs?"
Both teams in championship games have clothing items proclaiming them the winner even before the game starts. The items from the loser end up donated to Africa.
"I can't tell, take the dress off and let me have a comparable view. Maybe it's the panties. No, maybe it's the blouse. Better take the bra off, too." I guarantee you won't get that far. If you do, she'll forget about the dress.
#19 - A friend was a Methodist Pastor AND a Deputy Sheriff and used to always start that way then "correct" himself, but only at the rehearsals. He said a little humor usually relaxed everyone. Usually.
ReplyDelete#6 is just pickled cabbage....right?
ReplyDelete#15: She sure as hell is and wth Karine Jean-Pierre
ReplyDelete#17 I didn't donate it. I sold it to UNICEF for $500.
#6 Slur slaw ?
ReplyDeleteGreen salad with Russian (vodka) dressing.
Delete-lg
#9 was my old friend driving by diners, fast food places, and gas stations saying he's got to pee really bad. The asshole finally pulled out a Gatorade bottle and attempted to pee in it. He proceeded to piss all over his hands and got it all over the steering wheel.
ReplyDeleteThen, he stole Zanax from my sister. He's since moved to Florida and found Jesus... Fuck him!
#16 A ZIp tie? What's wrong with the usual duct tape?
ReplyDeletewith duct tape, you don't even need a rag.
DeleteElectrical tape works just fine too. And if it's fairly new, it doesn't even leave much residue to be scrubbed off when you get off work, either. (Why, yes, I was an electrician, what gave it away?)
Delete-John G.
#4 - very, very true. Never play that game.
ReplyDelete#6 - saurkraut.
#11 - seen that too many times. sometimes you can get the best of what you want from them
#12 - i resent that remark, i'm not that ugly...
#14 - damn funny.
#15 - ha!
#17 - funny, but lots of clothing companies sell their remaindered items in poor countries because they'll wear anything that passes for clothing....can you blame them?
#18 - he forgot 'not having to get up and go to work in the morning'
#20 - don't forget, the police ususally fire hundreds of rounds when the finally kill a suspect. and that's from semi-auto pistols and rifles. can you imagine their ammo budget if they automatic weapons?
another great set.
These are all entertaining and I felt the need to send to others. Hilarous! good way to end a shitty day
ReplyDelete17: I seen a kid with a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, and the comment below was "FFS, don't those people have enough to worry about without having to support the f-ing Leafs?"
ReplyDeleteWe always called them the Maple Laughs.
DeleteBoth teams in championship games have clothing items proclaiming them the winner even before the game starts. The items from the loser end up donated to Africa.
DeleteHoly shit. #1 HAHAHA! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIf we ship them jerseys of winners who didn't win, I want a Uganda Spearchuckers jersey...
ReplyDelete17's got me in tears laughing so hard!
ReplyDelete-lg
#19 You may remain silent but that digs the hole deeper. You might as well say that dress makes you look fat.
ReplyDelete"I can't tell, take the dress off and let me have a comparable view. Maybe it's the panties. No, maybe it's the blouse. Better take the bra off, too." I guarantee you won't get that far. If you do, she'll forget about the dress.
DeleteJust tell her she looks fat and has a big butt every time. If she asks more than twice, dump her.
ReplyDeleteEvil Franklin