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Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Your Tuesday Morning Florida Report

CLAY COUNTY, Fla. — In a surprising turn of events, the notorious “flower bandit” who stole flowers from the front of Dreamette Ice Cream Parlor on July 5 has been identified by local law enforcement.

Thanks to a combination of cutting-edge investigative technology and traditional police work, Sergeant Cox successfully located the suspect and secured a confession regarding the theft of crossandra flowers.

8 comments:

  1. Dunno who brought the dime bag of coke into the white house, BUT WE SOLVED THIS CAPER!!!

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  2. Deflowering an ice cream parlor is a serious offence especially if that establishment is under 18.

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  3. My initial thought was "why spend police time on something like this?" Then I thought - Maybe if places like Seattle, NYC, Baltimore etc. had done policing like this going back 40 or more years to today, these cities just might be a little different now.

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    Replies
    1. I think this was one the aspects of how Rudy Giuliani cleaned up NYC back in the 90s.

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    2. NYC *did* do this kind of policing forty years ago. Rudy Giuliani had the NYPD operating on the "broken window" theory of policing, aka "nip it in the bud." It worked, and made the city livable again. Then Dems got in office again and...well, we see the result.

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    3. Yeah, my first thought was the same, but your point, Anon 6:17, is exactly right.

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  4. Small victories...and kindnesses.

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  5. Perhaps they can advise on the hunt for biden's cocaine....

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