Yeah, I had that douchebag of a neighbor. He was the then light heavyweight boxing champion. He moved in when the original neighbor got a new job and was transferred to Arizona. It is a long story, but I sold my house to someone praying that the boxer would not fuck up the deal before it closed. I have stories.
After the Katrina exodus from New Orleans to Houston, he started a fake boxing camp and was convicted of stealing over $120K from relief agencies. He was convicted and sentenced to 12 years for felony theft. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
There were no pigeons before this douchbag lived here, and by the end of last summer, there were 200 hundred pigeons sitting on my roof. Rinse. Repeat. We're up to a hundred or more this year. Trap and kill them? Doesn't make a dent. Everywhere else in the state, pigeons are considered an invasive species, killed 24/7, but in my town, City Ordinances protect them. So, I'm up to my armpits in douchebags.
My neighbor just got a drum kit. Ten feet from my bedroom window, played by a kid with no sense of rhythm who thinks he's the next John Bonham. At least I thought it was the kid. Now I wonder if it's the dad. Homeschooling 6 or 7 kids, stay at home dad. So I don't even have the school year to look forward to. :-/ Funnily enough, 30 years ago, the neighbor who moved in next door to me in college town was a percussion major. Again, drums ten feet from my bedroom. At least he was talented.
One of my neighbors has a home-schooled girl who does percussion, keyboards, string, and brass. This last spring I woke up at 10pm to listen to her doing an absolutely epic 30 minute drum solo. Can't complain.
We used to have a neighbor who raised fighting roosters, about 80 of them less than 30 feet from our house. Them damn things would crow from sunup to way after sundown every night.
Even with all the windows closed, the A/C running full blast and the tv blaring, you could still hear the damn things. We about got into a shooting war over it. We finally sold out and moved away.
Yeah, I had that douchebag of a neighbor. He was the then light heavyweight boxing champion. He moved in when the original neighbor got a new job and was transferred to Arizona. It is a long story, but I sold my house to someone praying that the boxer would not fuck up the deal before it closed. I have stories.
ReplyDeleteAfter the Katrina exodus from New Orleans to Houston, he started a fake boxing camp and was convicted of stealing over $120K from relief agencies. He was convicted and sentenced to 12 years for felony theft. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
I have a douchebag neighbor that feeds pigeons.
ReplyDeleteThere were no pigeons before this douchbag lived here, and by the end of last summer, there were 200 hundred pigeons sitting on my roof. Rinse. Repeat. We're up to a hundred or more this year. Trap and kill them? Doesn't make a dent. Everywhere else in the state, pigeons are considered an invasive species, killed 24/7, but in my town, City Ordinances protect them. So, I'm up to my armpits in douchebags.
Plan is to sell my house this winter.
Douchebags 1
Me 0
Get a good pellet gun.
DeleteBuddha
My neighbor feeds a harbors stray cats.
DeleteDaryl
Throw out Alka Seltzer.
ReplyDeleteEvil Franklin
My neighbor just got a drum kit. Ten feet from my bedroom window, played by a kid with no sense of rhythm who thinks he's the next John Bonham. At least I thought it was the kid. Now I wonder if it's the dad. Homeschooling 6 or 7 kids, stay at home dad. So I don't even have the school year to look forward to. :-/
ReplyDeleteFunnily enough, 30 years ago, the neighbor who moved in next door to me in college town was a percussion major. Again, drums ten feet from my bedroom. At least he was talented.
One of my neighbors has a home-schooled girl who does percussion, keyboards, string, and brass. This last spring I woke up at 10pm to listen to her doing an absolutely epic 30 minute drum solo. Can't complain.
DeleteWe used to have a neighbor who raised fighting roosters, about 80 of them less than 30 feet from our house. Them damn things would crow from sunup to way after sundown every night.
ReplyDeleteEven with all the windows closed, the A/C running full blast and the tv blaring, you could still hear the damn things. We about got into a shooting war over it. We finally sold out and moved away.
Well . . . that will really entice buyers, unless he's just trying to send a message.
ReplyDeleteI live next to a cemetery. Best neighbors ever
ReplyDelete