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Wednesday, September 06, 2023

Man Drinks Entire Bottle Of Laxative, Shares Hilarious Play-By-Play Of The Next 8 Hours

A man in Austin, TX, drank an entire bottle of saline laxative. 

What followed can only be described as a hilarious misadventure that left him with a memorable story to share.
-SWOOP

20 comments:

  1. When all else fails, Dulcolax. Also known as blasting caps.

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  2. It works so fast that if a patient drove any distance, we'd give them the bottle and tell them to wait and drink it at home, lest they have an incident in the car.

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  3. Hell, that was a few weeks ago for me, in preparation for a colon endoscope! Like 4X dose of dulcolax, then I don't know how many gallons of some other laxative slurried in Gatorade.
    Nearly lifted me off the toilet toward the end. Like liquid yellow rocket exhaust.
    However, did get a pre-cancerous polyp sliced out, so that was nice.
    -Just a Chemist

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    1. The standard pre-colonoscopy cleanse is a combination of Ducolax and Miralax (dissolved in non red or purple gatorade or similar beverage) but in obscene quantities. The idea is to get you continuously crapping overnight until only clear liquid comes out 4 hours prior to the colonoscopy so that the endoscopist can get a good unobstructed look. If you haven’t had a colonoscopy and you are over 50, it’s time to get one. Precancerous polyps can be removed easily and doing so PREVENTS colon cancer, one of the big killers.

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    2. I didn't have any signs but when I turned 50, I asked my doc for a colonoscopy "as a baseline". They found late stage 3. 18" of large colon cut out and 8 months of chemo but I came through it far better than expected. Over 15 years ago now. Get one early. One of the easiest cancers to cure if caught in time. One of the more miserable if not.

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  4. BTW, funny, but it is *not anything like that bad.* I've had better days in my life, but they day I did the colon "flush" was nowhere near the worst, either. I'd say having to take care of a newborn for 12 hours is a lot worse than the colon flush.
    -Just a Chemist

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  5. As a first string player in the colonoscopy league I'm calling out the guy as an amateur.

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    1. I'm getting up there enough to be a legit old phart and have had several of these scopings, enough to start developing a sense of the different preps. Some people can talk about wine grapes and vintages like that, well I can tell you the pros and cons of Miralax/Dulcalax vs Magnesium Citrate vs SuPrep and others.
      Magnesium Citrate isn't too bad but it will do enough of a number on you that you better not have any other plans for the rest of the day once you chug the bottle.
      Heh- I know one guy who had a colonoscopy prep coming up but he got confused and drank the magnesium citrate one day early. LOL. He had just enough time (less than an hour) to get to the drugstore and buy more for the next day before it hit.

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  6. That’s hilarious! Hubby just had a colonoscopy, he can relate!
    Farm Wife

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  7. Yeah, I have my colonoscopy stories, too. When did this site turn in to war story time at the Sunny Acres Retirement
    home?

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    1. It almost makes me afraid to run any articles on cataracts or arthritis.

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    2. a very long time ago, working in a X-ray dept. the chief tech had some bad for lunch.
      so, he figured he take a pre kit to clean it out. bad move ! in one hour, he was in the can all the rest of the day. gave me 10 bucks to buy him some underwear and sweat pants to get home with. this was at maybe quarter to 5. next day, he told me, he didn't feel safe enough to leave until almost 9 pm. he swore he blew out everything but his lungs. other than that, working for Skip was easy.
      no really, skip was a good boss. a very fair man to work for. dave in pa.

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    3. Or kidney stones.

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    4. homemade lemonaide works best on stones. use the juice and watch your sugar !
      biggest problem is too many people add too much sugar to it. if you can keep it on the bitter side, it will work on the stones dave in pa.

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  8. People of the interwebs - if you are 50 or over, schedule it. Nobody cares about what it entails, nor should you. Just do it.
    Colon cancer will kill you deader than disco if you don't catch it early. As a bonus during the intake, talk with your Doc and explain that you have throat irritation (mention exposure to HPV princess was possible) and your stomach feels rough (ulcer?). This gets you an endoscopy thrown in at the same time. You are out cold, so what do you care? You want that endoscopy in case you have been exposed to an HPV princess. That way, in case you are brewing throat cancer, you have a chance at fighting it. Good luck to you all and God bless. Get checked out. Do it every 5 years. No excuses.

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    1. I ended up in the hospital back in March has an aneurism blowing up on my aorta "The Widow Masker" they called it. Anyhow there were complications and they ended up wanting to do a colonoscopy and an endoscope too , I asked the Head Nurse "If you only have one scope , lets do the endoscopy first huh?"

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  9. This is too funny.

    I've been constipated for most of my life. When I was in my early 20's, my RN older sister and my RN girlfriend (now my wife) told me to drink a bottle Mag Citrate. I did, and it worked... and it worked... and it worked. No lie, I had the shits for four weeks!!!

    I did clean me out though. We all still laugh about it 25 years later.

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  10. My mother used to use that when I was a kid. It didn't take long for her to start farting followed by the ooooooohhhhhhhhhh after every fart as a sign of pressure release. -sammy

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  11. Funny story but he should have drank the laxative about 5 minutes before he boarded a flight to Barcelona.

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  12. Sounds like a shit show to me
    JD

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