So, why is it that many are still reliant on dating platforms and apps to meet their social needs? Part of the answer is that civil society has broken down, and online dating has begun to replace—and even displace—the traditional ways couples meet: through church, school, work, and friends. This has significant implications for marriage and family formation, as couples who meet in the real world are twice as likely to get married as those who meet online.
Thursday, September 28, 2023
Meeting People
According to a 2023 Pew survey, only about half of users are satisfied with their online dating experience, and many are getting burned out after frequent and prolonged use. As lifestyle podcaster Shani Silver, the author of A Single Revolution, articulated, “What has all that time, all that effort, all that money, actually given me?”
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If I were to use an on line dating site, my wife would kill me.....
ReplyDeleteSame here.
DeleteHeck, I went to a yardsale last week and got asked to go out for coffee.
ReplyDeleteOnline dating was only ever intended as a meat market, and it is treated as such by all parties. Everyone can see what is up for "sale", regardless of their own location or desirability. Because 99% of men and 20% of women are automatically rejected by potential "mates" when better is perceived as available, and modern culture is for better or worse shapes by online "life", it has leaked over into reality.
ReplyDeleteWhen the pool is limited to a normal distribution (statistically and realistically) of attractiveness, people tend to have more ordinary expectations, selections, and happiness.
I am an old fart, who has been happily married for 31 years now. I know that many people who lose a spouse at my age seek another soon after, not wishing to be alone. I myself can't imagine getting involved with another woman, after everything that my wife and I have experienced, both good and bad.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course the idea of online dating sort of goes against the grain for me. For many people it would seem like an easy way to hook up with no strings attached. And for those seeking a relationship, I think that the old fashioned meeting places like church, work, friends, or recreational places like bowling or golf course, or even the shooting range would ensure that your match would have more in common than just being single.
I'm with you, pigpen. Been married 35 years and am thankful for that.
DeleteWhen I was a kid I thought the best way to meet fabulous babes was at the supermarket, the laundromat or the post office.
But that's just talk. I met my bride the old-fashioned way. I started seeing her after she split up from a friend of mine. Which was for the best, as he was a philanderer.
Oops. 36 years. Don't tell my bride I made that mistake.
DeleteWritten by a couple of feminists, Men bad ogre's, Woman victim . And its nothing new. What is new is people no longer have to put effort into making friends and finding life partners. If your curious look up the movie "Marty" with Ernest Borgnine, nothing new about it.
ReplyDeleteFor about 15 years I did the online thing. Back around 2005 it was like being a kid in a candy store. No meaningful relationships, almost once or twice, but made a friend or two & got laid a lot. It's just not worth the $$, travel time, or effort anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe quality of the dates seemed to go downhill in a big way around 2008 or 2010. Either overly concerned with what was in my bank account on the 1st date, or ready to move in next week on the 2nd date. One even turned out to be married. Her husband was banging on my door late one Saturday night. He didn't want her, he wanted the fucking car back.
Heh... I just saw on the internet there are cougars within 15 miles of my home looking to hook up.
Is that title Meeting people or meating people? Or is meeting people the initial intent to meating people?
ReplyDeleteIt's not ALL bad. I met my wife online. Her profile stood out as being different than everyone else while having the values I was looking for.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt there are exceptions to everything. I am glad that you met your wife through this type of service. I hope that you both are happy with each other and your marriage lasts forever.
DeleteJust like no person is totally good or totally bad, online dating must have it's positive points other than a quick tumble in the hay, or it would not be popular with people who are not looking for that. It is probably just a sign of the times we live in, where people are so rushed that they don't take the time to find a mate the old fashioned way.
I couldn't make it through the article, lots of words with little substance....... I don't know anyone that met a mate in church, I suppose somebody has but I don't know any.... School was good back in the day but I graduated in 1976 so that time has passed....Work has provided several bootie buddies over the years and any single women my friends may know are as old as I am and there's no fun in that.... Besides marriage is way overrated and overall the juice is not worth the squeeze....
ReplyDeleteJD
You've gotta get the right fruit to make it worth it, and squeeze it like you mean it.
DeleteI've had 4 long term relationships, 2 of which were wives. The last was 10 years long and there were more good times than bad but..... Truthfully I'm a very independent guy and while long term commitments work for some but I'm not one of them....
DeleteJD
I suck at meeting people, very much a loner except for family
ReplyDeleteI met my first wife in 1966, when I was in high school. didnt get back into the market until around 2000. I worked in social services but the pickings were very sparse in my age group. one of the young ladies actually hooked me up with her mom and another with an older friend. I went to a small church with no single middle age women, though one of the women introduced me to a single friend that I had a good relationship for a year . The range, only wives and daughters. I tried a couple of sites and did find several lovely ladies on a small Christian dating site, one of whom I ended up marrying. This site was different in that you could only post 1 photo and after basic bio there were essay questions about beliefs and interests that I found quite informative. Any failures in that process were mine and mine alone.
ReplyDeleteMost women on those sites are thrown away and looking for a benefactor. Their demands are many but they bring nothing to the table themselves. Most have zero sense of humor as well. Lots of anger issues.
ReplyDeleteOnline dating works for some people, but that’s likely a small minority. One thing I will say is you don’t truly get to know a person (boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, whatever) until you live with them.
ReplyDelete