Back when I was in the USN, we used to float-test stuff all the time. We would even have contests sometimes. The winner was not the thing that went down the fastest, but what stayed afloat the longest, with the caveat that it did have to eventually sink.
My personal best was an empty mechanics tool chest. There were no tools in it and it was beat all to hell. (...which is why my division was disposing of the beast after replacing it.) It took that sucker almost a minute to finally sink.
However, the most *entertaining* float test I ever witnessed was not planned. We were waiting for the small-boat to take us back to our off-crew barracks which was on Ford Island. The year was 1975. There were three coke vending machines there on the small-boat landing. While we were waiting, a drunk sailor lost his money in one of the machines. (I know what your thinking, but it wasn't me!) He started rocking the machine, and in his growing anger managed to push it over. Unfortunately for the vendor, the machine was just a couple of feet from the edge of the pier.
It went right over the side.
It hit the water and went down like a battleship. (...but it still didn't go down as fast as that roller machine did!) Bubbling and gurgling. it rolled over once and went down by the stern. Till my dying day, I'll never forget watching that thing disappear into the drink headed for Davy Jones locker. The last thing we saw was the plug on the end of the power cord as it finally got pulled under.
We laughed our asses off for a little while. Then the sober among us disappeared for parts unknown. (Screw that small-boat. I had plenty of time and wasn't going to be late for anything, and I certainly didn't want to have to pay for someones lost vending machine!)
I never did find out what the final ramifications were, the drunk was from a different boat. But ever since that day, I have wanted to buy an old vending machine just so I could float test it.
Fails Float-Check.
ReplyDeleteTypical third worlders.....
ReplyDeleteY u Be sow racisists? Dat not be a turd world kuntry. Dat be in Mexico.
DeleteNope, dat be Middle East based on dress and hair.
Delete"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
ReplyDeleteAl_in_Ottawa
The boat was the least of their problems...
DeleteWonder if it had one of those key floater thingys
ReplyDeleteSucked in some water and bent a rod for sure.
ReplyDeleteDaryl
Why does someone always act like they can catch it?
ReplyDeleteFor the same reason people blurt, Are you alright? after someone trips and falls on their face.
DeleteNatural reaction I suppose
DeleteJD
One question: "what were they thinking"? They weren't.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, put it at the pointy end rather than amidship.
ReplyDeleteHow do you say "Bloop!" in Farsi?
ReplyDelete"Bloopsi"?
DeleteWow, that thing went down like a stone.
ReplyDeleteBack when I was in the USN, we used to float-test stuff all the time. We would even have contests sometimes. The winner was not the thing that went down the fastest, but what stayed afloat the longest, with the caveat that it did have to eventually sink.
ReplyDeleteMy personal best was an empty mechanics tool chest. There were no tools in it and it was beat all to hell. (...which is why my division was disposing of the beast after replacing it.) It took that sucker almost a minute to finally sink.
However, the most *entertaining* float test I ever witnessed was not planned. We were waiting for the small-boat to take us back to our off-crew barracks which was on Ford Island. The year was 1975. There were three coke vending machines there on the small-boat landing. While we were waiting, a drunk sailor lost his money in one of the machines. (I know what your thinking, but it wasn't me!) He started rocking the machine, and in his growing anger managed to push it over. Unfortunately for the vendor, the machine was just a couple of feet from the edge of the pier.
It went right over the side.
It hit the water and went down like a battleship. (...but it still didn't go down as fast as that roller machine did!) Bubbling and gurgling. it rolled over once and went down by the stern. Till my dying day, I'll never forget watching that thing disappear into the drink headed for Davy Jones locker. The last thing we saw was the plug on the end of the power cord as it finally got pulled under.
We laughed our asses off for a little while. Then the sober among us disappeared for parts unknown. (Screw that small-boat. I had plenty of time and wasn't going to be late for anything, and I certainly didn't want to have to pay for someones lost vending machine!)
I never did find out what the final ramifications were, the drunk was from a different boat. But ever since that day, I have wanted to buy an old vending machine just so I could float test it.