A school security officer’s handgun is now missing after Memphis police say a middle school student walked off the property with it after finding it in the bathroom.
I kind of understand. When you take a dump and you have a pistol you take it out of the holster. But you are a dumbass for forgetting to put it back in after the dump.
In the Corp they taught us to get up, take a shit and you were good for the day. Been doing that for fifty-five years. My body is trained to do that. It is rare, if ever, that I've had to go throughout the day. Plus I have no desire to sit on a public toilet.
The first thing that leaped out at me in this story is that there is apparently a need for armed security...at a middle school. Second, of course it was a female cop who misplaced her weapon and didn't notice it absent on her person for an hour (think: Affirmative Action intersected with Diversity, our strength). Third, they have surveillance video but it is of such poor resolution that they can't identify either the girl who filched the gun or her partner as they walked out of the school following the filching. Granted, hoodie and likely black skin. But jeez, folks, someone should be able to ID at least one of the girls from clothing, accessories, mannerisms.
The misplaced weapon would be considered "found property." Found Property means any property of value other than real property or fixtures thereon, which is abandoned, lost or left unattended in a public place including, without limitation, a street, alley or parking lot. The girl is therefore not a thief, but the "officer" certainly may be considered a fool.
This is just so ripe for comments, that one hardly knows where to start. I will just say that I always, always know where any of my guns are at any given moment. There are a number of strategies of how to deal with a gun while using the bathroom in public. But the biggest strategy has to be, don't leave the stall without it. Stupid woman, never should have been given a job that required her to carry a gun.
When I was a union officer my office was in a regional trainng facility. We had two floors of offices, classrooms, shops, and conference facilities. We would host events for various politicians, bureaucrats and other assorted scum. They were always accompanied by entourages that included armed security. One incident that I've always enjoyed was once when the mayor with his escort of badged shitstains made an appearance at a function. One of them went to the bathroom and left his pistol in the shitter. Someone found it and I told him i would secure it and see that the orc got it back. I took it to a seldom used classroom upstairs and put it in a wastebasket. The wastebaskets were lined with plastic bags with several spares in the bottom underneath the bag being used. i put the pistol under the spare bags and waited. The next day several cops showed up, very annoyed, throwing their weight around and making threats. I, of course, played stupid and feigned ignorance. These assholes took almost a week to find the gun. The whole time they pranced around like Billy Badass, fucking with everyone and everything, trying to intimidate everyone they came in contact with. It was a lot of fun to watch.
Money Quote from the article:
ReplyDelete"She said she did not realize her gun was missing until over an hour later."
I kind of understand. When you take a dump and you have a pistol you take it out of the holster. But you are a dumbass for forgetting to put it back in after the dump.
ReplyDeleteBrings a whole new meaning to "mag dump". . . . .
DeleteIn the Corp they taught us to get up, take a shit and you were good for the day. Been doing that for fifty-five years. My body is trained to do that. It is rare, if ever, that I've had to go throughout the day. Plus I have no desire to sit on a public toilet.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and ask how many firearms are "lost" each year by the
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that leaped out at me in this story is that there is apparently a need for armed security...at a middle school. Second, of course it was a female cop who misplaced her weapon and didn't notice it absent on her person for an hour (think: Affirmative Action intersected with Diversity, our strength). Third, they have surveillance video but it is of such poor resolution that they can't identify either the girl who filched the gun or her partner as they walked out of the school following the filching. Granted, hoodie and likely black skin. But jeez, folks, someone should be able to ID at least one of the girls from clothing, accessories, mannerisms.
ReplyDeleteBut IDing them would mean breaking the rules by noticing their skin tone.
Deletethe headline says girl STEALS, really! Steals!!??? You're right- finders keepers losers weepers!
ReplyDeleteThe misplaced weapon would be considered "found property."
DeleteFound Property means any property of value other than real property or fixtures thereon, which is abandoned, lost or left unattended in a public place including, without limitation, a street, alley or parking lot.
The girl is therefore not a thief, but the "officer" certainly may be considered a fool.
This is just so ripe for comments, that one hardly knows where to start. I will just say that I always, always know where any of my guns are at any given moment. There are a number of strategies of how to deal with a gun while using the bathroom in public. But the biggest strategy has to be, don't leave the stall without it. Stupid woman, never should have been given a job that required her to carry a gun.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a union officer my office was in a regional trainng facility. We had two floors of offices, classrooms, shops, and conference facilities. We would host events for various politicians, bureaucrats and other assorted scum. They were always accompanied by entourages that included armed security.
ReplyDeleteOne incident that I've always enjoyed was once when the mayor with his escort of badged shitstains made an appearance at a function. One of them went to the bathroom and left his pistol in the shitter. Someone found it and I told him i would secure it and see that the orc got it back.
I took it to a seldom used classroom upstairs and put it in a wastebasket. The wastebaskets were lined with plastic bags with several spares in the bottom underneath the bag being used. i put the pistol under the spare bags and waited.
The next day several cops showed up, very annoyed, throwing their weight around and making threats. I, of course, played stupid and feigned ignorance.
These assholes took almost a week to find the gun. The whole time they pranced around like Billy Badass, fucking with everyone and everything, trying to intimidate everyone they came in contact with. It was a lot of fun to watch.
LOL
DeleteShould have taken it to a gun buyback.... Give the cop a $50 giftcard to Applebees
Won’t SOMEONE please think of the chillren!?!? I’m axking you to please think about the chillren!!!
Delete