A judge has ordered a Florida Man to have no contact with his wife following his arrest for allegedly striking her in the face with a thrown sausage, records show.
That was the same place my mind went to at first. I wondered if the sausage was actually attached to the man, who tried to throw it into her mouth. Just to feed her, of course. I know, I know, go sit in the naughty corner. I have a padded chair there, thanks to my wife's response to my comments from the internet memes and such. I say she has no sense of humor. She says I have no sense of decency. Maybe we are both right.
"During a “verbal altercation” Saturday afternoon, Ray Allen, 61, allegedly threw the sausage, presumably pork, at his spouse. “The said sausage struck [the 64-year-old victim] on the right side of the face”
O.K., as far as it went, but was the 'presumably pork' sausage cooked or uncooked? The public wants to know.
Well, I would get life without parole if he saw what I did with my "sausage".
ReplyDeleteThat was the same place my mind went to at first. I wondered if the sausage was actually attached to the man, who tried to throw it into her mouth. Just to feed her, of course. I know, I know, go sit in the naughty corner.
DeleteI have a padded chair there, thanks to my wife's response to my comments from the internet memes and such. I say she has no sense of humor. She says I have no sense of decency. Maybe we are both right.
That poor sausage. Come on, where is the passion for the real victim here.
ReplyDeleteSausage? Without seeing the whole story, but getting a gander at the dude's face I'd have said the assault weapon was a pork chop.
ReplyDeleteFrom the Annals of Great Journalism -
ReplyDelete"During a “verbal altercation” Saturday afternoon, Ray Allen, 61, allegedly threw the sausage, presumably pork, at his spouse. “The said sausage struck [the 64-year-old victim] on the right side of the face”
O.K., as far as it went, but was the 'presumably pork' sausage cooked or uncooked? The public wants to know.
Inquiring Minds want to know: Was he going for distance, accuracy, or impact energy?
ReplyDeleteIf it's a blood sausage, then it's Lancastrian Martial Arts. Ecky-thump!
ReplyDelete