Monday, January 22, 2024

Your Monday Morning Florida Report

In a monumentally moronic scheme, a woman admitted that she plotted to submit dog urine she had “collected” in an attempt to cheat a court-ordered drug screening, police report.

According to investigators, Jessica Beatty, 42, was subject to random testing as a stipulation of release terms related to her December 28 arrest for possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license.


  1. I'm just trying to picture the 'mechanics' of that collection effort.

  2. You use a soup ladle with a long handle.
    Yes, don't go there. Learned this at the vets office.

  3. They call it dope for a reason.


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