#1: Good idea all you ahve to worry about is injuns shooting arrows at you not fucking road ragers rolling over you or shootin you.
#9: Nuttin' in the budget for booze and drugs? if you be illegal you get the rent, gas and food from the government and maybe even a discount on the booze and drugs. Life is good for illegal aliens and the politicans thanks to us honest working slobs.
#20. Had a friend back in the '70's that went to Saudi Arabia for a job. He was a HVAC mechanic. Back then you couldn't just go to Saudi Arabia, you had to be invited in for a job. I asked him what it was like. He said the first thing that hit him was when he got off the plane was the incredible heat. The 2nd thing was the stench. They don't bathe and when they have to take a crap or piss, they take a crap or piss where ever they are. All around were piles of shit. He said it took months to get used to the smell.
A friend hosted college foreign exchange students four at a time. One, one! muzzie stunk up the house. No exaggeration, it took several washings of the walls and shampooing the carpet in his bedroom to noticeably lessen the stench. Three months of airing out the room and more washings before it was all gone.
#4 Visiting in Minneapolis, my friends took me to a Buffalo Wings restaurant. I'd not before heard of that restaurant chain. I thought, What do they know in Minnesota about BBQ? So I ordered the hottest on the menu, extra hot if you please. It turned out they knew a lot. Five alarm fire? P'shaw. That's amateur hour.
My throat closed up, I was asphyxiating. Surely my esophagus suffered 3rd degree burns. I could feel my face melting. Lava was already pouring through my insides.
The waitress understood; she was kind enough to bring a quart of milk - stat! - to the table. She also brought a new platter of milder wings. My friends howled with laughter though not too loudly for they had previously made the same mistake.
re #3 - true, but you can't catch an STD from onlyfans*. #5 - I wish... #11 - now that's funny #18 - not nice. Vice Grip Garage is interesting to watch.
* - unless you're paying extra for soiled undergarments....
#20 Naw, just put a goat in there.
ReplyDeleteOkay, you nailed it dead center. Great one!
Delete#1: Good idea all you ahve to worry about is injuns shooting arrows at you not fucking road ragers rolling over you or shootin you.
ReplyDelete#9: Nuttin' in the budget for booze and drugs? if you be illegal you get the rent, gas and food from the government and maybe even a discount on the booze and drugs. Life is good for illegal aliens and the politicans thanks to us honest working slobs.
#20 for the win!!!!!
ReplyDelete#20. Just put goats in there first.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking it's number 20 for the win.
ReplyDeleteSome damn good ones here and yeah number 20 is a winner
ReplyDelete#20 is too fucking funny!
ReplyDelete#20. Had a friend back in the '70's that went to Saudi Arabia for a job. He was a HVAC mechanic. Back then you couldn't just go to Saudi Arabia, you had to be invited in for a job. I asked him what it was like. He said the first thing that hit him was when he got off the plane was the incredible heat. The 2nd thing was the stench. They don't bathe and when they have to take a crap or piss, they take a crap or piss where ever they are. All around were piles of shit. He said it took months to get used to the smell.
ReplyDeleteA friend hosted college foreign exchange students four at a time. One, one! muzzie stunk up the house. No exaggeration, it took several washings of the walls and shampooing the carpet in his bedroom to noticeably lessen the stench. Three months of airing out the room and more washings before it was all gone.
Delete#18 so true, all the time.
ReplyDeleteJohn G.
#20 made me snort beer out my nose. So accurate.
ReplyDelete#4 Visiting in Minneapolis, my friends took me to a Buffalo Wings restaurant. I'd not before heard of that restaurant chain. I thought, What do they know in Minnesota about BBQ?
ReplyDeleteSo I ordered the hottest on the menu, extra hot if you please.
It turned out they knew a lot. Five alarm fire? P'shaw. That's amateur hour.
My throat closed up, I was asphyxiating. Surely my esophagus suffered 3rd degree burns. I could feel my face melting. Lava was already pouring through my insides.
The waitress understood; she was kind enough to bring a quart of milk - stat! - to the table. She also brought a new platter of milder wings.
My friends howled with laughter though not too loudly for they had previously made the same mistake.
For #20 you won the internet today, sir!
ReplyDelete#3- But then they would have to interact with a real, live human being.
ReplyDeletere #3 - true, but you can't catch an STD from onlyfans*.
ReplyDelete#5 - I wish...
#11 - now that's funny
#18 - not nice. Vice Grip Garage is interesting to watch.
* - unless you're paying extra for soiled undergarments....
#4 this is some good cheese spread
ReplyDeletehttps://www.vernscheese.com/shop-online/ghost-pepper-cheese-spread/