As I approach graduation from college, I also approach my second wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, my husband’s and my young marriage is far from the norm in today’s society, and these new norms are hurting America’s young people.
Wednesday, April 10, 2024
Commentary: The Case for Marrying Young — From Someone Who Did
“Young people are the future” is a quip every Gen Zer has heard. Unfortunately, the “future” has lost its interest in the future. Young people are increasingly turning their backs on marriage and children, a choice that is hurting their mental and spiritual health, their physical wellbeing, and, ultimately, their happiness and sense of fulfillment with life.
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We got married June, 1968. I had just graduated college, wife had another quarter to go. Now, for the guys out there my age you know what 1968 meant. Already signed up, reported in Aug, US Navy. We have been married now for close to 56 years. Some times bad, almost all Good. We did not kids, not by choice. That happens. Right now my Wife is battling Cancer. Things look good though. We grew up quick in the 60's, like other generations. Kids today don't grow up for a long time. Marriage takes work, I think kids today don't understand that.
ReplyDeleteI've always contended that marrying young gives you nesting practice and builds up the mental callouses to deal with your 3 or 4 future marriages.
ReplyDeleteI married the first time at seventeen. The next two were progressively easier. Now I'm a bachelor at 72, and pretty much content. BTW - all three were Irish redheads.
DeleteMaturity, not chronological age, is the key. In the 18-1900's, most 16-18 year olds were independent, functioning adults. In 1970, that was still true. By 2000, only the exceptional were really functioning adults at 20-21. Today, most 25 year olds are still acting like children. Later and later age at marriage is a sign of extended childhood, which is the fault of both society as a whole and individual parents. Parents, at least, can -to some degree- counter the continued infantilization of their children (but laws work against their efforts in most cases). The fatal problem is that biology expects to create new generations when women are between 15 and 30 (35 at the latest); after that, fertility declines, fetal abnormalities skyrocket, and -as anyone who has had children knows- the ability to cope with infants and toddlers is less. The problem can be fixed, but it requires both parents and society insisting that 16-18 is an age where a child must function effectively in the world as an independent -or mostly independent- adult. At least 40% of society in general does not want that. The good news in all this is that those whose behavior is dysfunctional (both parents and children) aren't reproducing. Eventually, the genetic biases of the ones who do reproduce will displace those of the ones who don't.
ReplyDeleteI am on my second marriage. We will hit 32 years this fall. My first marriage lasted for 11 years, with 3 children. The telling thing is that I was 19 at the time, and my ex wife was 16. I thought that she was the one I was going to grow old with. Sadly that was not to be.
ReplyDeleteMany people use the term Soulmate. I don't believe that there is such a thing. Instead, I believe that two people, who are totally committed to each other, work through the hard times, enjoy the good ones, and strive to make each other the best that they can be, become Soulmates.
Happily single most of my life, tried marriage a couple of times but I found its just not right for me.....
ReplyDeleteJD
51 years this July; followed my husband around the world while he served in the Air Force and “retired” to Central Florida 30 years. I was a single mother for most of my husband’s military service due to TDY’s, alerts, and remotes. Our son lives across the street with his wife of almost 20 years and three children.
ReplyDeleteI told the hubs I don’t believe in divorce; murder, yes, but divorce no. So far, so good!
Military wives are some of the strongest women I've ever known.
DeleteGood military wives are. Unfortunately too many wives don't measure up and do things like screw around while the guy is on deployment.
DeleteAll of my wives seemed to think it was their mission in life to make sure I was never happy, ever. Not even for one day. It was either death do we part or divorce.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was graduating high school, there were these two really good looking people at my school who were dating and for some reason engaged. I remember being at a party with them and just asking "why?" when they were talking about it. Somebody else reflexively jumps in and says "because they love each other" (which was a STUPID response, btw) while neither of them could really answer the question. Amusingly, that question almost started a fight.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, they broke up about two months later. If they would have rushed forward with things, they would have been miserable. It's a rare person who truly knows what he or she wants at that age.