SYRIA — In the wake of being forced to cancel a series of concerts and disappoint thousands of fans in Austria, entertainment star and global superpower Taylor Swift ordered her private jets to launch a retaliatory strike on a suspected ISIS stronghold.
The strike began before dawn, with Swift issuing orders for a large-scale, multi-pronged assault on the terrorist base, with air strikes from her private jets to be followed up by waves of Swifties attacking on the ground.
-CavScoutCoastie
