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Thursday, November 07, 2024

43 monkeys escape South Carolina research facility; police warn residents to secure doors and windows

Authorities in South Carolina on Thursday warned residents to lock their doors and windows after more than 40 monkeys escaped from a research facility.

The primates broke loose from a Alpha Genesis facility in Beaufort County and traps have been set up and thermal imaging cameras are being used in an effort to locate the fugitive monkeys, the Yemassee Police Department said in a statement.
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-WiscoDave

27 comments:

  1. Has anyone checked the Welfare Office?...

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  2. Monkeys against our government?
    My money is on the monkeys.

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  3. Wonder what it would cost to get one of those little fuckers mounted?
    Ed

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  4. "Escaped"
    - WDS (NOT in Beaufort County)

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  5. Any PETA activists in the area? Asking for a friend.

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    Replies
    1. What kind of research was being done at this place? Is this going to kick off the zombie apocalypse when the first human gets bit?

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  6. Great. More of them. Lock and load.

    QHM

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  7. They are just looking for who stole their bananas

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  8. Unless they were speaking English, riding horses, and carrying rifles, I'm not worried.

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  9. Ebola outbreak incoming. There is a vax
    for that.

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  10. A whole different kinda apeing out going on
    JD

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  11. Don't worry the govt office says, they are too young to have been experimented with but just to be sure lock all your doors and windows, and call 911 if you see any.
    For some reason, these days I have doubts about things when the govt has to explain.

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  12. "Alpha Genesis"

    Sounds legit.

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  13. "...never been used for testing due to their age." That means worry free barbecue bush meat - unless the lab is just saying that to cover up the Ebola testing- then make sure everything is well done-

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  14. As Beaufort residents (on one of the Sea Islands far away - 45 minutes south of Yemassee), that town is in another world where the monkeys would be right at home. Other than the Le Creuset factory, Auldbrass (Frank Lloyd Wright plantation owned by Joel Silver w/ his 4 Oscars on display) & Harold's Country Club (bar), there's no there there.

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  15. Matthew Broderick & Helen Hunt in the area?

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  16. I lived less than a mile from Yerkes for 30 years. I kept a shotgun in my coat closet in case I had a mikan appear in the yard. There were two escapes that I was aware of.

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  17. Bait the traps with fried chicken and grape soda.
    Oh, not those.

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    Replies
    1. It would probably work.
      They aren't THAT far apart on the evolutionary tree.

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  18. Be sure to cancel their EBT cards.

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  19. At last word they were seen moving quickly toward North Charleston where they will easily blend in, making identification very difficult.

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  20. Anyone check the local mall or Applebees?

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  21. One time my son told me I should stop watching all those monkey hunting videos on YouTube.

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  22. Isn't this how the movie, "28 days" started?

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