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Monday, December 23, 2024

Hell yeah, let's party - Funeral Home Applies For Liquor License

"I don't want my funeral to be a bleak affair. I want it to be a celebration of my life. I want it to be a fucking rager. I want people funneling beers and doing Jager bombs in my honor. I want a DJ to play Levels backwards 10x in a row just like we do at the Delt house. Sit my corpse upright in a throne Weekend at Bernie's style and pass me the blunt. Put a mirror on my lap and make a cocaine buffet out of my dead crotch. I don't want people being sad at my funeral. I want it to be a party." - Drunk College Guy
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-WiscoDave

10 comments:

  1. Putting the "Fun" in Funeral!

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  2. An Irish wake. Liquor up front. Poker in the rear.
    -lg

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  3. Are we sure John Belutarsky didn't have something to do with composing this masterpiece?

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  4. When my sister in law knew she was dying of pancreatic cancer she laid down the law for her funeral. No crying. Boots and jeans. Have food and music and people celebrating. Drink a toast to her. That's exactly what we did. There was a little crying.

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  5. What have you people got against the Irish?

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  6. So, I accompany a friend to the funeral home because her brother's newborn passed a few days after birth. Tiny white coffin on a riser, somber aura in the room. Some dude sitting behind me leans forward and whispers, "Hey y'all, who brung the cooler?".
    - WDS

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  7. Maybe not at the funeral parlor or graveside, but I've been to a few brawls afterward when various members of my drunk Irish fam have passed. Never waste an opportunity to get wasted.

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  8. I don't understand the funeral home thing, people that hasn't even spoken to the deceased in decades show up and cry like their best friend died... As for me cremate me, throw a small party then put my ashes in the wind
    JD

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    Replies
    1. We tossed my cousin's ashes off of the Sunlight Creek bridge, the highest bridge in Wyoming. It was spectacular.

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    2. Sounds wonderful
      JD

      Delete

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