I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your messages of sympathy over the death of my mother.
Mom's obituary HERE
At last count, there were 343 comments and roughly 150 emails, all from readers here, and I read each and every one of them. I can't even begin to tell you how much they meant to me. In contrast, I got exactly two contacts from my blood family, one from my girl cousin in Missouri who was genuinely concerned about me, and the other from an uncle on my Dad's side who was just fishing for information which warrants a separate post a little later.
One of the emails really touched me, and I'm glad she finally found peace through my words.
Posted with her permission:
Dear Ken,
My Mother was never very fond of me, and she managed to instill that feeling in my brother and sister. No abuse, just constant denigration. The three of them were masters of the put-down. She passed more than 20 years ago.
You asked that we take the time to reflect on our Mothers. So, I did just that. I sat down on my porch at sunset on a chilly Texas night, I thought long and hard. At 66 years of age, I was finally able to accept it without an ounce, or even a gram, of bitterness. Between your prompt and the view below, I finally felt relief. Even my husband noticed the difference.
I offered up my thanks to your Mom. But I needed to thank you as well. With all my heart. You, and your Mom, made a difference.
With much appreciation,
-Anne.
Wow. You're very welcome, Anne. I'm glad it helped and I'm grateful you took a few minutes to let me know.
Again, thank you one and all. Words do matter.
Thank you for sharing my email, Ken. I hope your readers see that peace can be found. And again, thank you for helping me find mine.
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law had a similar experience growing up. She was the 5th of 9 children, and she was always on her mother's shitlist. Not always for any particular reason, either. She never approved of a thing MIL did. From her summer job, to her choice of husband, to having children at all (nevermind so many!), it wasn't appropriate. This state lasted until Grandma had a heart attack, and my mother-in-law, having been the head nurse on the cardiac floor for years at that point, went to be her live-in help for awhile.
ReplyDeleteGrandma was on anti-depressants as part of her pill regime for her heart (don't ask me why) and it completely changed her behavior - for the better. There were many tears shed, and a long awaited reconciliation that had stopped being expected decades ago actually happened.
Grandma didn't last long after her first heart attack. But it was long enough.
John G.
(MIL had 7 children, of which my wife is the oldest. They were all born in wedlock, and she's still married to the same husband. Which is more than can be said of some of her siblings! They're great people, even if she does still believe the media too much. (Which is to say, at all.))
We've had both an extended family stressor this season; an upset in the church; all the usual End of Year things plus just for spice: one furnace go and a microwave oven go out; and Winter is hear.. so I've not kept up well until looking in on this now. >>> My condolences about your Mother and THIS above was a great "handling" by a good family. Well Done & next year will be better.
ReplyDeleteyeah. about family. never saw greed like that until after my Mom died.
ReplyDeleteand people wonder why I moved to the hills of pa and have not spoken with my family in years. hate to say this, but my own damn kids are the same way. what's in it for them ?
again, sorry for your loss. I know how much my MOM matter to me.
anyway, I stay around helping them until after they both passed. then I left.
remember the good times you had. it what I do . dave in pa.
People, in all their folly and vice, maintain some undercurrent of beauty in their souls. It is a fine thing when that beauty finds the light of day.
ReplyDeleteWow, Ken. Your mom and my bride could have been twin sisters, they looked so much alike in their youth. Beautiful women.
ReplyDeleteThe obituary presents in detail a life well lived. R.I.P.
ReplyDeleteAnne's mother and mine were kindred spirits. Over the years I learned some of the reasons why she was the way she was and eventually came to terms with it, but it wasn't easy and took a long time. You parents out there would do well to consider the things you may lay on your children before it's too late, and may God richly bless those of you who truly do not need those words of encouragement.
Sorry about your mom. Just lost mine in August. Enjoy your website and your sense of humor!
ReplyDelete