NEWARK, N.J. -- TSA workers thought they had seen it all, then this happened. A man from Pennsylvania, was caught trying to smuggle a live turtle in his pants through airport security.
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Uh, no - those fuckers bite hard. Not only that, but they hang on for dear life. No way in hell am I going to put one anywhere close to my dick, towel or not.
That would be an interesting derivative of Darwin's evolution, where a a species that's remained unchanged for millions of years could stop a supposedly more advanced species from reproducing.........
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there's a dick joke in there somewhere.
ReplyDelete-lg
Yeah, something about 'turtling'...
DeleteHe claims it's an emotional support, seeing eye tortoise named Kamala and Federal circuit courtJudge Boasberg just issued an injunction to stop the TSA from removing it.
ReplyDeleteOk, I laughed for real. You win the internet today, well played.
DeleteWhy didn't he just say it was his emotional support turtle?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, some black chick in my school insisted that there is such a thing in traditional negro cuisine as "turtle dick soup". Just puttin' that out there.
ReplyDeletetsa, once again keeping America safe.
ReplyDeleteGoing through RDU in January the tub stacker actually said he's protecting the public.
DeleteStarker here,
ReplyDeleteThe Darwin award isn't for killing yourself, it's for taking your genes out of the pool (before you've reproduced). So a turtle "accident" at age 16, qualifies. Although the more spectacular the better.