". . . allegedly “grabbed a cheeseburger from his vehicle” and threw the delicacy, striking a male victim on the shoulder and causing him 'bodily harm.'"
New York actually has a saner law with respect to “battery.” As a New York jurist said long ago, if the common law of battery (offensive touching) were criminalized, then every bar fight where there is merely a black eye or bruising or no injury whatsoever would end up in criminal court. So the legislature codified the crime to include only “offensive touching” involving serious injuries or where a dangerous weapon (not a cheeseburger) is used. In New York these lesser assaults (such as the cheeseburger) is known as harassment, a violation, and the perpetrator is given an appearance ticket. When the witness (recipient of the cheeseburger) fails to take the day off from work to testify, the case would be dismissed. If he does show, the DA would not want to waste resources trying the case and the whole thing would be plea bargained for $50 fine or adjourned in contemplation of dismissal ( if he stays out of trouble for 6 months, it gets dismissed). If the recipient’s suit needs a dry cleaning as a result, he could be made to pt for that as part of the plea bargain.
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Hurt from being hit by a cheeseburg. Thank god he didn't throw a french fry. Might a hit him in the forehead and caused a lobotomy.
ReplyDelete". . . allegedly “grabbed a cheeseburger from his vehicle” and threw the delicacy, striking a male victim on the shoulder and causing him 'bodily harm.'"
ReplyDeleteThis is how pussyfied we have become.
I'm still trying to figure out when did a cheeseburger become a delicacy.
Delete-lg
When ground beef hit 8 bucks a pound.
DeleteSometimes the memes write themselves.
ReplyDeleteNew York actually has a saner law with respect to “battery.” As a New York jurist said long ago, if the common law of battery (offensive touching) were criminalized, then every bar fight where there is merely a black eye or bruising or no injury whatsoever would end up in criminal court. So the legislature codified the crime to include only “offensive touching” involving serious injuries or where a dangerous weapon (not a cheeseburger) is used. In New York these lesser assaults (such as the cheeseburger) is known as harassment, a violation, and the perpetrator is given an appearance ticket. When the witness (recipient of the cheeseburger) fails to take the day off from work to testify, the case would be dismissed. If he does show, the DA would not want to waste resources trying the case and the whole thing would be plea bargained for $50 fine or adjourned in contemplation of dismissal ( if he stays out of trouble for 6 months, it gets dismissed). If the recipient’s suit needs a dry cleaning as a result, he could be made to pt for that as part of the plea bargain.
ReplyDeleteAn American icon the cheeseburger? By the guy's name I figured it would be more appropriate if it was "assault by taco".
ReplyDeleteDid the burger have bacon ? If so he's guilty of a felony charge of wasting bacon to facilitate a crime...
ReplyDeleteJD
Should have used a higher caliber burger- a triple cheeseburger with pickles would have been fatal- GM
ReplyDelete