Sunday, September 27, 2009

Thoughts

1) Why do I always have to shit after I pass the last gas station between towns?

2) How come it's right hand fast, left hand slow instead of left hand fast, right hand slow? Men know what I'm talking about.

3) Why is it whores that men hire are uglier than their wives?

4) FUCK YOU, OBAMA. That one was for Jim.

5) Why is it that the first thing a dog does after eating a cat turd is try to lick you in the face?

6) Why do I see my doctor in a restaurant eating red meat and drinking beer?

7) It always seems like I run out of windshield washer fluid right before a big-ass bug hits my windshield?

8) How come Deb never posts pictures of herself?

9) Am I attracted to pyscho women or are they attracted to me?

10) And finally: Why is it that when I use spellcheck, "Fuck" is okay but "damn" isn't?