Sunday, September 27, 2009

Thoughts

1) Why do I always have to shit after I pass the last gas station between towns?

2) How come it's right hand fast, left hand slow instead of left hand fast, right hand slow? Men know what I'm talking about.

3) Why is it whores that men hire are uglier than their wives?

4) FUCK YOU, OBAMA. That one was for Jim.

5) Why is it that the first thing a dog does after eating a cat turd is try to lick you in the face?

6) Why do I see my doctor in a restaurant eating red meat and drinking beer?

7) It always seems like I run out of windshield washer fluid right before a big-ass bug hits my windshield?

8) How come Deb never posts pictures of herself?

9) Am I attracted to pyscho women or are they attracted to me?

10) And finally: Why is it that when I use spellcheck, "Fuck" is okay but "damn" isn't?

5 comments:

Shay said...

1,2,7 very true!
Good post.

Tattoo Jim said...

"Life loves to laugh in your face, brother!" And Deb did post a picture of herself, sorta... I'm betting she's a Cindy Crawford look-a-like (that gold 1 piece bathing suit picture that she posted)... just my thoughts...

Deb said...

Ten of life's mysteries. Very profound post, Wirecutter. Ah, but I did post a photo of myself. Granted it was mid winter here in Maine and I gave the Michelin Tire Man a run for his money in the outfit department, but nevertheless, it is a photo of me ;-)

ibeam said...

How did i miss that pic of deb?

Will said...

1) It's a conspiracy by the democrats to get you used to the cheap t.p.

2) Lefties are left hand fast, right hand slow.....think about it.

3) It's the puss your after not the face.....unless....nevermind.

4) AGREED!

5) Same reason you feel like everyone wants to smell your breath and hear you talk after a 12 pack.

6) He's a doctor and he has access to some pill that completely reverses the affect. Same way with STD's.

7) Piss on it.

8) Deb needs to come to the south and take some better photos.

9) It's all you, man.

10) There is some goofy fuckin' nerd somewhere who refuses to use swear words so they dont know how to spell them.