Saturday, September 12, 2009

It's been 2 months since I got laid

I'm in Barnes & Noble's Current Event section today flipping through an Ann Coulter book when this sweetie walks up next to me.
After a couple of seconds she says "I usually don't do this but I saw you walking in and I have to say that the way you swagger when you walk is very hot."

Fuck, Lady. I'm reading Miss Ann.
"That's because my goddamn feet hurt."

So tonight, I'm home alone again. Reading Ann Coulter. By myself.
Fuck.........

Gotta be California (again)


Thanks, Yolo.
I need those reminders of why I need to get the fuck out of California when I retire.

Quit teasing me, TJ!


Enjoy your weekend, Wirecutter!
-Tattoo Jim

What the.....????


Seriously. What the fuck?

Wish I had a tongue like that


Grandma don't give a fuck


My future second ex-wife


CAMEL TOE!!!!!!!!


Friday, September 11, 2009

FUCK YOU, OBAMA


This is a re-post, but somehow seems worthy of posting again considering the date.
Thanks, Janice. I appreciate you bringing this to my attention.

You may be on your own tonight

Let's see.
I have an 18 pack in the icebox, a couple in my belly already, a pizza in the oven and Stevienatt's got me thinking about a triple bacon porkchop sammich.
If I don't post anymore tonight, you'll understand.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tomorrow Is Promised To No One


Many, many thanks to Yolo

Tears, Sorrow and Anger.

Tomorrow is 9/11 and I ain't got a thing to say about it.
I can't.
If I got started on it......
I have known so many people, myself included, that enlisted in the Service of our Great Country and served overseas to protect our family, freedoms and Country only to have the fight brought to us on our own soil.
It fucking hurts.
Never forget.
God Bless America.

And these people vote......


Well, no shit, Billy!


Aw, fuck!


CAMEL TOE!!!!!!!!


Ahh, that Thorazine shuffle!


-Yolo

Monday, September 07, 2009

Gotta be California (again)


Gotta preview those pictures, folks


Yeah. Me too.


But only if they want to


-Doug

A Reader's rant

I got an email regarding a post titled "What a dumpass".
I vaguely remember seeing the misspelling and meant to change it, but me being me and being a dumpass at times, it got spaced out.
Ms. X, being a teacher caught it and sent this via email.
I got a kick out of it and responded with a request to publish it and she graciously agreed.
I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did, especially the second dumpass story.
Ms. X is the third person to contact me and in the course of conversation mention that they teach for a living. Mortal enemies when I was under their collective thumbs, now I have nothing but respect for them.


My rant has to do with the No Child Left Behind bull shit and the fact that my school did not make AYP - Annual Yearly Progress. Which is another rant all by itself. I'll clue you in in another email.

See, here's what happened. I was in a game room chat and putting my two cents in about education and how I am being held accountable while parents and students are not. I felt I had a right to chime in since I've been a teacher for 20 years and have too many years in to quit. A retired teacher blasted me and told me that I was hindrance to the process because I blame everyone else for my students not learning and it really pissed me off to the point that if he/she/it were standing in front of me we would have to go the hospital to get my fist out of his/her/its jaw and to get myself calmed down I was checking out your old postings. (How's that for a run on sentence?)

I stopped responding to him/her/it because he/she/it has no idea what I am talking about. My students not only learn, I tell them every day they are expected to learn. And I make sure that the least amount of improvement for the year is 6 months in reading & math. And just so you know I teach 4th grade and some of these kids can't read or perform math on a first grade level. Hindrance my ass.

The title of your older post was "What a dumpass".

Well.

A few years ago one of my 4th grade cherubs apparently didn't think much of me and changed a computer icon to read Ms. X is a dumpass.

The next time the darling was in my room, I wrote the change on the board and said:

One of you changed a computer icon to "Ms. X is a dumpass." You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that. However. Dumb is spelled d-u-m-b so I am NOT the dumb one. So if you are going to write something about me at least have the decency to spell it correctly especially since I am your spelling teacher.

The best part was the kid couldn't accuse me of calling him/her a dumbass because then that would admit guilt. And consequences.

I LOVE being a hindrance.

Here's a second dumpass story.

I told my aunt about it and, of course, we use it all the time...especially when we are serving beverages at our biannual fire & rescue auxiliary turkey & oyster dinner. Our beverages are sweet tea, unsweet tea, and water. We have a signs for the two types of tea, but people don't read them so we spend our time indicating which is which. But we love the people who point to the third beverage and ask, "Is this water?" What the hell do they think it is...water????

That, my dear friend, is a dumpass.

I wonder if his pet name is Peanut?


It is lunchtime, ya know


So that's where I left my truck...


CAMEL TOE!!!!!!!!


I wonder what happened here?


Sunday, September 06, 2009

That's what you get for fucking around

By WILL LESTER, Associated Press Writer Will Lester, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON – The White House environmental adviser under fire for inflammatory statements made before he joined the administration resigned after what he called a "vicious smear campaign against me."
Van Jones "understood that he was going to get in the way" of President Barack Obama's agenda, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said Sunday.
The resignation was disclosed without advance notice by the White House in a dead-of-the-night e-mail on a holiday weekend. It came as Obama is working to regain his footing in the contentious health care debate.
Jones, who specialized in environmentally friendly "green jobs" with the White House Council on Environmental Quality, was linked to efforts suggesting a government role in the Sept. 11 attacks and to derogatory comments about Republicans.
Gibbs said Obama did not endorse Van Jones' comments but thanked him for his service.


Okay, what this article doesn't even mention is that Johnson is a self-avowed communist and a supporter of Hugo Chavez.