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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Chelsea





































Here's my pound puppy Chelsea. About 7 yrs old, loves to run, hunt, bite and eat my goddam screen doors! Love her though, very protective and great sense of humor. That's her latest kill.
Regards,
JG

Monday, September 13, 2010

It's coming, BHO

50 more days until the election.
I'm 51 years old and never in my entire life have I looked forward to an election as I am now. I did not even pay this much attention to the last presidential election. I mean, I knew who was gonna win that that and it wasn't my folks, but in 50 motherfucking days, we're gonna watch the Obamessiah fixing to take it in the ass.
Yeah. I'm taking the next day off work, I'm eating pork, shooting my guns off and emailing the White House to tell you to suck my wee-wee.
I'm also gonna tell Michelle to take off her boobie belt. It looks fucking stupid.

I missed another bet here

I watched "Pay it Forward" again last night. I don't know why I do that shit.
There's 2 scenes in that movie that fucks me every time and they're both right at the end.
The first one is where Mama finds out the boy didn't make it.
The second is the tribute where about a million people gather outside the home to remember Trevor.
Too bad I've never seen this movie with a new sweetie.
I guaranteed I'd get laid.

CharlieGodammit update

No, I didn't get CGD cut today. I called and the quickest they could do it was in 3 weeks. I told them I'd call back.
Okay, here's the story about him getting rolled by a cop car.
I had just came in from errands and noticed that my porch plants needed watering so I opened up the back door and window for a cross breeze, filled my watering jug and commenced to watering. I truly thought the front security door was latched but it wasn't. I saw CharlieGodammit out of the corner of my eye as he was slinking off the porch and hollered at him which is basically a green light for him and he hauled ass. Right into the street. Right in front of a cop car. I heard a screech, saw CGD go rolling, and I about fucking died on the spot.
Okay, I knew shit was going get tight so I unholstered and flipped my 45 on the couch (no sense in picking up extra charges, right?) and ran out. By the time I got off the porch CGD was up and on top of the hood of the cop car daring him to open the fucking door. He was pissed and wanted to know how big a boy that cop thought he was.
I started hollering "Don't shoot my dog, Don't shoot him! Let me get him."
The cop rolls down his window and says "Don't worry, Kenny. It's all good. But he's bleeding so hurry up."
Fuck me running. He used to live next door where my pyscho neighbor lives now. I can remember when this kid graduated from the police academy. Who says there ain't a God?
Mick offered to run him to the vet but I ended up taking him in.
Anyways. Charlie bit his tongue, 4 stitches, had no broken bones and nobody got shot. And I'm out $275 for an emergency vet bill.
And he's a bit sore today. I can understand that - I been run over before too.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell happened.

I was sitting here with my mail page open playing solitaire when I message from BillyBob pops up wanting to know if I deleted all the comments on my blog.
I log in and sure enough, about a weeks' worth are gone. That's fucked up.
I hadn't been on the blog all fucking day.
Weird, huh?
Yeah, I went through and changed my fucking password, tweaked my security options, scratched my nuts and went back to my game.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Charlie may survive

Me and CGD and Jamie all had a bad night last night. Me and Charlie reached an understanding, Jamie is still sending me fucked up emails and phone calls.
I'm calling Doc tomorrow and having him cut. There's room for only one dominant male in this household and do you wanna guess who that is? It ain't me that's gonna be looking at my balls in a mason jar every night.

Leave it alone, Girl

You wouldn't dare. I've seen how much you love your dog.
- Jamielynn

You wanna bet? I'll kill him, skin him and give you his hide. He snarled at me.
Stay away from this. It's something you don't (and won't) understand. I know you like him but I'm the boss here. He's a fucking animal, nothing more, nothing less.
Seriously. Stay away from this. He pissed me off. If he lives or dies, it's his choice.
I don't want a vicious dog determining my place in life.
Goodbye, Jamie.

Wanna play games?

Charlie growled at me tonight. He was hit by a cop car earlier tonight (barely hit, more later) but the fact of the matter is he growled at me.
We were on the floor, I growled at him like I had a million times before and the motherfucker growled me back. Then I woofed him and he actually snapped at me.
I jammed him to the floor (gotta remember he's Buhund and American Husky, needs a very dominant man) and he stalked away from me snarling. What the fuck?
The only reason (and I'm fucking serious here) that he's still alive after that bullshit was that a fucking cop car rolled him earlier. I'll cut him some slack for a minute because if that.
But let the motherfucker jams me up again and his brains will be fertilizing the begonias.
I will take no shit off no dog.