Friday, October 08, 2010

No no, I'm okay, Officer.

Fuck, I was gonna post something but I forgot what it was. Are Friday nights great or what?

Skeeters' South Carolina Coyote

And now it begins.....

I got my mail-in ballot delivered today along with the sample ballot I mentioned a few posts ago.
No, I haven't filled it out yet. I know how I'm voting as far as candidates go but I want to study some of the initiatives that are on the ballot.
Please do the same. Study all aspects, weigh the consequences and then vote the cocksuckers and their bleeding heart programs out.

Look at yourself in the mirror, Phil.......

This is coming from a country that is considering (if they haven't already) not only legalizing pot but also smal amounts of heroin, cocaine and LSD?
Hey, I don't agree with legalizing weed here in Kalifornia but this is the pot calling the kettle black here.

TIJUANA, Mexico -- President Felipe Calderon said Thursday that a California ballot measure to legalize marijuana represents hypocrisy in U.S. drug policy for encouraging consumption while at the same time demanding that Mexico and other countries crack down on drug trafficking.
"For me, it reflects a terrible inconsistency in government policies in the United States," the Mexican leader said late Thursday in an interview with The Associated Press.

Read more:

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Why I still use Windows


Fucking with Jack

There's this guy out at work that I just absolutley hate as does pretty much everybody else. He's just got one of those personalities that makes you wanna firebomb his house, you know? But I gotta work with him so I just keep it under control. At work, that is.
Let's call him Jack because, well, that's his name.
About 4-5 years ago we were working together and things were slow so I was standing just inside a trailer on the dock and started laughing while holding my cell phone. Him being the nosey fucker he is came over and wanted to know what was so funny. I told him I had just downloaded a new ringtone that was funnier than shit and told him to call me so he could check it out. I tell him my number, he calls, my regular ringtone comes through, I tell him I must've fucked something up and apologize, shrugging my shoulders. But now I had his phone number because he was too fucking stupid to block it before calling me.
I go home that night, go to and get his home address. Now I got his personal information. What am I going to do with it? I don't have a clue yet. The only thing I do know is that I'm going to sit on it until he forgot he called me.
Fast forward a few months. It's Christmas time and the parking lots are full. I don't know what made me think of this but it ain't bad at all.
I sit down and write a bunch of notes in different color inks on different papers. They read:

"Hey, I hit your car and I don't have insurance. I can see the damage is less than a couple of hundred bucks so if you'll cantact me, I can just pay you off. My name is Jack M****s, my number is 555-2345 and I live at 234 D******* St, Salida. Please don't call the cops, I may have warrants too."

Then I just troll the Wal-Mart parking lot and look for cars that are so beat up you couldn't tell new damage from old damage and leave one of those notes on the windshield. If the registration is expired, it's an added bonus. Then the tweeker that owns the car comes out, sees this note and sees dollar signs.
He calls Jack up, Jack tells the guy to fuck off and then answers the door a little while later to some pissed off crankster that ain't slept in 3 days wanting some money to pour down the hole in his arm.

The Jack comes to work the next day ranting and raving about some motherfucker trying to strongarm him out of a couple of hundred bucks while I'm sitting there looking all innocent.

I think Jack got called a couple of times that first year, once or twice the next year and I can't tell you if he's still getting any, but I still spread some Christmas cheer every year - after I call him from a blocked number to make sure it's still current.

Coyote Facts

Coyotes don't mate for life. They may keep the same partner for a few years but it's not a lifetime thing. Kinda like humans - as long as your shit is tight, it's all good.
Actually the reason is that either the female gets too old to breed or the male loses dominance in the pack. Again, kinda sorta like humans.
Usually only one pair in the pack breeds and this is the dominant pair - I hate the term alpha but I'm going to use it -  while beta dogs help rear the pups once they're born (63 days after mating give or take a day) by helping the alpha male bring home the bacon. Beta females will also babysit on occasion.
The only time another pair in the same pack will breed as well is if the pack has suffered heavy losses due to predation. I don't know this for sure but I've been told that dual litters also come when the rabbit/rodent population is on its' high cycle, about every 7 years.
Usually, only 2 pups out of the litter will survive their first year. They either die from disease, accidents, or older males kill them. Again, like humans.

Nice hair

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:
"What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."
Thanks, Bella. I did get a grin out of that one.

You can't make this shit up

Go figure


Go figure.......

It's true. This is the toughest baddest dog I have ever owned. That motherfucker will attack and kill a wounded coyote when I cut him loose, protect my house and his yard from any intruder, and even keep me safe from a menopausal woman for sure.
Yet he'll lick a cats' ass given half a chance.

Do I need to say it again?

Oh hell, okay. If you insist.
Fuck Obama and his best bro Mohammad, the goat fucking child molester.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

So much for loyal readers

Okay, check this shit out.
I don't demand a whole hell of a lot from you motherfuckers but somebody better comment on my coyote facts post (killin' them motherfuckers is near and dear to my heart) or I'm gonna go out and kick my dog.
Yeah Mom, I've been drinking. What in the fuck are you gonna do about it?

Help. Please.

Okay. Since my modem took a shit and I got a new one, everything is fucked up.
I cannot access my blogrolls to add or delete.
I have to sign in every time I make a post even when I had just posted thirty seconds before.
I have to sign in to edit a post I just made.
I have to sign in to reply to a comment.
Basically, I'm a visitor to my own blog.
My questions are what in the fuck does this have to with a modem and what do I have to do to get things back to normal?
Please don't tell me to sign out and back in. I've tried that shit a hundred times.

F*ck Obama Shirts

For those that wnat to know where I got my Fuck Obama shirt, go to:

I do a fair amount of business with them. They're good folks and they also ship a small American Flag decal with every order.

Coyote Facts Everybody Needs To Know

Welcome to my new feature - Coyote Facts.
Learn while you can before I either run out of facts or get bored with it.

The range of the coyote in North America before the europeans showed up was limited to an area between the Rockies and Sierras and south to where the US/Mexico border supposedly is today. Yes, they extended down into Mexico but I'm talking Norte Americana, Senor. They also inhabited a thin strip of the Canadian prairie just north of the border.
By 1940, they extended into western Canada, up into southern Alaska and into the Great Lakes region in both the US and Canada.
Today, you can find the mangy motherfuckers all along southern to mid-Canada from coast to coast, and every state of the Union except Hawaii and just as soon as I can figure out how to get a couple of breeding pairs over there, we'll have some fine coyote hunting right there in Wakiki too.

Time to start studying, folks.

Election Day is coming and it's coming quick.
Do yourself and every other American a favor. Be prepared when you vote whether it's at the polls or by absentee ballot. Get a sample ballot, study the issues and the candidates. If you vote at the polls, take the motherfucker with you so you can refer to it once you get in the booth.
Hey, I don't know if you're a Republican, a fucking Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, Green, Red or whatever. That's your choice. But however you vote, I'm just asking that you are informed when you go to the polls.

A case in point: I was dating a girl shortly after the presidential elections. Now, I had no idea what her political leanings were - I suspected to the right because if some of her opinions - but I hadn't asked because she had such a nice ass and I didn't want to blow it off yet. But the day arrived and she mentioned that she had voted for Obama because "we had to get Bush out of office."
I couldn't fucking believe it. I mean, did she not pay attention in Government class in high school? She never heard of term limits? She couldn't even name the Republican candidate. Yet she voted. Ordinarily I'd give somebody credit for voting but in this case? Uh, no. She couldn't take one evening and check things out.
Shit started going downhill real quick between us after that, nice ass or not.

My Hero

Whitehaven, Tennessee (The Weekly Vice) -
Kenneth E. Bonds, a 45-year-old Memphis man was jailed Saturday after he allegedly shot a teen in his buttocks because the boy refused to pull up his pants.
According to Shelby County Police, two teens, ages 16 and 17, were walking to a candy store around 7:30 p.m. when Bonds started yelling at them to pull up their pants.
He then shouted profanity at the teens, ordering them to "do what he told them to do," because of his status as an adult, according to the arrest affidavit.
The teens ignored Bonds at first, but then retaliated by calling him a "fat ass" who needed to shut up. The young men then attempted to continue on their trip to the candy store.
Investigators say that when the teens passed Bond's location on their way back from the store, Bonds emerged from the home with a handgun. That's when Bonds reportedly shot the 17-year-old teen in the buttocks. The bullet reportedly exited through the juveniles thigh.
The victim was taken to Methodist South Hospital and then to Regional Medical Center in Memphis for further treatment for his injuries. He is expected to make a full recovery.
Bonds was later identified in a line-up and admitted to the shooting.
Bonds was booked into the Shelby County jail and charged with two counts of aggravated assault. He was released after posting $25,000 bond. He is due in court October 11th.
Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice
Stolen from the DaleyGator who stole it from The Weekly Vice who stole it from.......

Doing yardwork with CharlieGodammit

Yup, a Tall Boy, a chair, a dog and a nice day.
Life is good today.
Click the top picture to enlarge so you can read my fashion statement

Larry and friend

Larry and me’s gonna take a walk…..
might be gone some time...
-Yolo (of course)

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Campbells knuckles under - anything for a buck

Ooooh, Hamas approves!
Fuck Hamas and now fuck Campbells Soups. I like Progresso better anyways.

Made for each other

Morning, guys!

Kiss me. Now.

A national best seller among men

Fuck yeah

When you're away.....

Because your ass is on the line, that's why.



Uh, okay........

Click to enlarge

Another "Aw Fuck" moment in time

Any questions?

Pictures don't lie.
Becks' rally drew far more supporters than the Progressives' bullshit rally did the other day.
Remember this date, folks.

You don't say?

Let's see. Hispanics are predominately catholic that don't believe in birth control and they make up 40% of my countys' population.
Am I expected to be surprised here?
And no, I'm not making a statement about illegals here. As far as I know, the hispanics in question are all legal. I'm just saying........

The latest birth statistics show only Hispanics have fertility rates above replacement level in California. White, black, Asian and American Indian women are not having enough babies to replace dying members of those ethnic groups.
Read more:

Sunday, October 03, 2010

And I thought I hated Obama....

Click to enlarge
Thanks, Rick

And you're both assholes


Quitting Copenhagen

You know, it's the habits that are connected to the habits that make quitting hard. Taking my latest for example (Copenhagen), popping in a chew right after a meal, right after climbing in the truck, during coffee time but worst of all, when I'm watching TV and that was a ritual in itself.
Okay, after the meal was easy. Take a shot of lemon juice when I finished my meal. you don't even want to eat pussy after that shit, much less a chew. Everything tastes sour after lemon juice.
The truck? the cure there was either walk or pop in some gum. Light shit.
Coffee time was and still is hard. What I had to do was break up the coffee habit. During the week I would wait until later than usual (even if it was 15 minutes) before my first cup. During the weekend was harder. I truly enjoyed laying in bed, even if it was 4 AM, and drinking my first cup. I had to force myself to get up and either drink it in my Camoflauge BassPro Easy Chair or go outside and drink it in the pre-dawn morning which to be honest with you, I enjoy a hell of a lot more. Seriously.
The toughest? When I was doing nothing but watching TV and that's because of a simple ritual. I'd pick up my can with my left hand from the gun/redneck magazine/chew/beer table, toss it to my right hand without even thinking about it, pack it down and grab a chew without looking. How did I get over that?
Easy. I started drinking heavily. I started tossing beer cans instead. No shit, that really works. I get so fucked up at night I sleep either in my Camoflauged BassPro Easy Chair or barely in my bed which is less than 10 feet away. Sometimes I crash in between them. Fuck, I even keep a blanket between the living room and bedroom door. Even CharlieGodammit knows to curl up with me on frigid nights when it gets below 80 degrees. The Evil Cat water dish is 3 feet away in case I need to puke - fuck them Evil Cats.
No shit, I haven't been to bed sober in 6 weeks and 2 days but you know what? Neither me nor Deb has had a chew since. I just hope shes' had an easier time at it.
Motherfuckers, I'm a ragin' alcoholic but at least I don't chew anymore.