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Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Jeff Gordon sucks it up

AP Wire- Raleigh , NC
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.

-orbitup

6 comments:

  1. That's too fucking funny!!!

    Just don't start on the King, ya hear??????

    ReplyDelete
  2. Having met Jeff Gordon, all I can say is. "and he deserved it."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Years ago, Playboy had a short story by an unnamed author called "Manhattan Pit Stop", where a good-ol'-boy NASCAR driver did exactly that. Speculation was the author was Dan Jenkins ("Semi-Tough" -- the book, not the crappy movie), but as far as I know no one ever came forward as the author...

    Thanks for bringing back a good memory!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Holy shit...I stole this from funnybitsandpieces way back in Oh9...and now it resurfaces her...it is still funny as hell though!! Amazing how shit gets around these interwebs....Keep up the great stuff...

    http://oleragtop.blogspot.com/2009/02/jeff-gordon-fires-his-entire-pit-crew.html

    ReplyDelete

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