Monday, April 25, 2011


I read a post somewhere the other day on bartering, something I do when I can can, being perpetually short on cash money and I thought I'd post something on my experiences today.
Bartering is nothing more than trading one service (or goods) for something you need want or gotta have. Simple as that. It leaves no records of transactions and best of all, no motherfucking taxes for either party. It can be anything that you can do for something you need as long as both parties are in agreement.
My truck has been getting worse and worse gas mileage and I have my registration due soon, requiring a smog check. Total cost for a full tune-up and smog check will run me about $500 - I've got the money but don't want to part with it if I don't have too. So today I wander down to my mechanics' garage (who I've bartered with before) to see how I can knock down the price.
"Hey Eddie, what's happening?"
"Hey Brudder (Eddie's an Iraqi Christian and a BAD motherfucker, been doing business with him for years), what can I do for you?"
"I need a tune-up and smog check, can you hook me up?"
"Yeah, for you I do it cheap. How's your mudder?"
"Meaner than ever. You need any work done? Something to knock down the price a little?"
"Yeah. I was going to call you next week. I need satellite for my TV hooked up in my house. You do that for me like at my old house? I just charge you for smog that way."
"How many rooms?"
"Four is all. Throw in 250 rounds of 45 ammo and bring in your truck tomorrow. I make it priority."
"You got the gear and dish?"
"Yeah, from my old house. Can you do it this weekend? We move in next week."
"Done. Hug your wife for me. Fuck Obama."
"Fuck Obama, Brudder."
There you have it. My total cost? Less than 50 bucks for the smog certificate and 4 hours of labor.
The beauty of this is you can trade anything from yardwork to house cleaning to reloading to fish and game. Seriously, my doctor cuts my bill in half as long as I bring him some fish after my visit. I painted the window sills on my vets' house for CGDs' shots last month.
With a little imagination you can swap shit you don't have for services, and then trade for things you do have to somebody else to pay for those services.
You'd be surprised at what you can do with folks that you've done business with and are trusted. Build up a little rapport with your tradesmen and give it a shot. Nobody likes to pay taxes and everybody need SOMETHING done.
It can't hurt to at least ask, right?


Bushwack said...

Man I been doing that shit for years. I haven't paid for any auto work for any of mine or my boys vehicles for ever. (Except for parts and when I got the dually lifted I paid a bit but it was much cheaper than anyone else could get it done)
My vet is another one. But you aint bartering until you manage to trade auto work for vet shots LOL
I've also traded dog shots for free cable, and beer for yard work and never left the couch... LMAO

I'll teach one day how to barter brother...

wirecutter said...

Oh, I'm a bartering motherfucker, Bushwack. Divorce will do that for you.
I once started with a set of dies for a 30.06 and ended up with my garage being rewired after going through 6 people.

Bushwack said...

If I make it up there this year we'll end up with nuke, three f-22's and a couple RPG's.... That's how I roll man... LMAO.

drjim said...

Been bartering for most of my life!
I got my race car painted years ago by helping the painter rewire several of his customer cars that were there for major work.

Tom Charles, IRS said...

kenny, be there soon.

Tattoo Jim said...

I'd like to figure out how to barter that fucker in the Oval Office for, I don't know, maybe a candy bar... Hey you camel fuckers out there... any takers? Doesn't even have to be a fresh candy bar...hell, a jar of sand will work too! How 'bout it Moooooo ham ad??????

dhanna59 said...

The arabic word for barter trading is "BAKSHEESH". You do for me, I do for you, and no one is the wiser...giv'em the evil eye and stare, they start hollerin' "No Ali-Babba, No Ali-Babba! ( the thief's name in Arabian Nights folklore story).
BTW, got the secret sqirrel inquiries but Lima Lima down. I try again tomorrow, D59,out.

Deb said...

I don't barter, but I'm sick of people approaching me to barter, though they don't call it "bartering".

Bella said...

I LOVE bartering. But somehow, when it comes time for me to take off my clothes, they tell me to STOP. Go figure. :) I just drink takillya and my clothes fall off all by themselves.