Saturday, April 16, 2011

Fun and games on a Saturday evening

Man, I needed a new thumb drive so a while ago I was headed to the Office Depot to get one and right when I'm slowing down to turn into the parking lot some stupid white motherfucker and his buddy with their hats turned sideways in a jap car turn in front of me from the left lane to go to Marias' Taqueria. I stand on my brakes and honk my horn, barely missing them. Seriously it was so close it blistered the paint on my truck.
As I'm pulling into the Office Depot I look in my rear view mirror and what do I see? A jap car with two stupid motherfuckers following me in. Great. Just what I wanted, a fucking hassle.
Hmmmm, what kind of weaponry do I use? My 45? Pepper spray? The bad-ass tomahawk I bought yesterday? The four foot length of 3/8" chain laying in my floorboard? My E-tool? So many choices......
I decided on the pepper spray for starters and finishing up with the 45 if needed.
I park and the jap car 69s up next to me. The driver rolls down his window and yells "YO! You got a problem, Dawg?"
Dawg? You just pissed me off. I ain't your fucking dawg, young man.
"Fuuuuck you, youngster."
He jumps out of the car and I blast him with a shot of pepper spray. As he's rolling on the ground cussing, his buddy throws down the blunt they were smoking and touches his door handle.
Aha, an act of aggression. I blast him through both open windows from 3 feet away, hitting him in the lower face. Cheap fucking "spray", shooting a stream instead of a spray. Oh, well.
The dumbass immediately rubs that shit right into his eyes.
"Man, what the fuck did you do that for? I wasn't going to do nothing!" He was sniveling big time.
"For having a poor choice of friends, son." I just grinned and pulled a few feet away and looked in the bed of my truck where CharlieGodammit was playing with a bug.
"What the fuck, asshole? Weren't you gonna take take of business, you worthless motherfucker?"
He just looked at me like Hey, you had it under control and pinned his beetle under his paw.
My thumb drive can wait until tomorrow.
Fucking kids, I swear......