Monday, March 12, 2012

A National Emergency

Mike from Sob Street Irregulars is in the hospital having a growth removed from his belly and I'd like to wish him a quick recovery.
Not for his sake - his followers thinks he's Jesus, so he'll rise again - but for the sake of his faithful disciples/puppy dogs. Ever since he moved from his easy chair to his hospital bed, not a single window at a Democratic building has been broken. Motherfuckers are aimlessly wandering the streets with rocks clutched in their hands as they await the order from their Great Leader to launch their hand-held missiles. Traffic has backed up for miles as old men in flop hats and web gear block intersections while awaiting their orders.
Last report has rock quarries looted as his minions are stocking up on ammunition. Road construction has slowed to a crawl as the shortage of roadbed material dwindles. Obama is outraged as this eliminates both jobs he has created.
Please, Mike. Hurry up, recover, and take charge again. Your men are so distraught they're forgetting to take their Geritol.