Wednesday, January 16, 2013

CharlieGodammit the Sissy Dog

Yeah man, Lisa left town for a few days and so it's been me and CharlieGodammit here by ourselves doing the bachelor thing again. I knew that he was now her dog seeing as he spends 24 hours a day with her and only about 4 with me, but I had no idea how damned devoted he was to her.
That motherfucker laid in front of the door with his nose at the crack the entire first day she was gone whining and sniveling like a little bitch-dog. Day 2 was a little better - we had pizza and he finally started acting like the Old CharlieGodammit that I knew and loved but then things slid downhill on Day 3.

Day 3 - I had to go to work and couldn't leave him inside. It's been in the twenties here at night in Sunny California so I made some special preparations for him - opened up the Justice Shed and put his horse blankets out there on top of a few layers of cardboard to insulate him from the concrete, fed him and put extra food out for him (Calories = heat) and made sure to put his water bowls near the hot water heater in the laundry room so they'd stay thawed.
Then I set my tells and checked my inside security cameras and went to work, still worried about the damned dog - I really don't know why, it ain't the first winter day he's spent outside and he's got 3 thick coats of hair on him due to him being part wolf. Plus, there's plenty of southern exposure on the patio where he can lay up and soak up some rays once the sun comes out.
Man, I got home after dark last night and could hear that motherfucker start howling when I did my drive-past on the house to make sure everything looked fine. When I got inside he started growling and pawing at the door. I let him in, he stopped and sat, gave me a quick handshake and headed for the heater. I walked outside to lock up the Justice Shed and started laughing - he had dragged all three of his horse blankets out and over to the patio door where he could sunbathe in comfort. Damned dog ain't dumb.

So, there was some shit going on last night that kept me from sleeping so I called in from work today giving him a reprieve on his last day outside. He's appreciating it too - he got up and ate then and laid out right in front of the heater. The only time he's moved all day was to switch sides. He's probably going to piss in place, too.

Fucking pussy dog, I swear. Look at the evil eye I'm getting.


hiswiserangel said...

Wondered why you were up past your senior citizen's bedtime last night. Hope things are okay. I accidentally left my Charlie out ALL NIGHT, night before last. When I let her in the next morning, she slunk past me with her head down and tail tucked, certain she'd done something to piss me off and deserve the punishment. I felt so bad I cooked bacon for us.

crankyjohn said...

That boy looks well fed.

wirecutter said...

Yeah, he don't do without.
This is his winter weight though, right about 115 pounds. Come summer he'll drop 10-15 pounds.

crankyjohn said...

Of the few things I love in life. Dogs top the list.