Thursday, November 01, 2012

Straight-up White Trash, God bless 'em

Two men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 recently. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 calibre bullets from his pistol fitted perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on east bound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never again operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might be dead" stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened" said Deputy Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?


hiswiserangel said...

And ya'll say a little ole .22 can't do any serious damage...

Skip said...

My people.

KurtP said...

It wouldn't do that.
I heard that in another story, but it still wouldn't work because ther is no barrel to force the bullet down.
All it might do would be to..."pop".

Mythbusters busted it too.

Peter B said...

Great story but Snopes (and the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, which supposedly ran the story) says they didn't run it and it likely isn't so.

Bearded Youth said...

Good God. Talk about some shit luck. The bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. I got a sick feeling in my gut when reading that line. Poor bastard.

wirecutter said...

Don't know if you folks noticed or not but I categorized this under "Jokes".
Yes, I am well aware that the story is not true. I've heard it it at least a half dozen times with different areas being hit by the 'fuse'.
The last sentence is a sure tip-off.

Peter B said...

Sort of like this test my fourth grade teacher gave us. She said "read the whole thing before you begin." On the last page it said "do not answer the even numbered questions."