Dressing small game

Today I'm going to tell you how to skin out and prepare a squirrel, small coon, or rabbit for eating. We're not concerned about saving the hide, just unzipping that motherfucker for dinner, so there's no diagram needed. If you can't follow these simple instructions without a diagram you're too fucking stupid to be around firearms anyways.

Take your dead critter and lay it belly down. Cut off it's little footsies at the knees. If it has a long tail, lop it off. Cut the head off later. Pinch the skin up and make a cut across the back from side to side at the bottom of the ribcage between the meat and the skin, no need to cut across the belly. Stick your index and bird fingers under the skin, raise it up to your chest and pull the hide away from the meat taking care to keep the fur from touching the meat as much as possible. Rabbits skin out easily, coon and squirrel take more effort. Cut off the head now.
Now you should be looking at a nekkid animal. Flip it over on to it's back. Take the tip of your knife and poke it under the skin at the pelvis being careful not to penetrate the intestines because that nasty shit will flat fuck up your meat. Cut up to the ribcage, grab the animal and dump the guts into the sink, cut the diaphragm and then reach up into the chest cavity with a couple of fingers and pull out the heart and lungs and anything else that might be attached. Your final step is to cut away any bloodshot meat, the anus, genitals and glands on the haunches. Do not penetrate the glands - better to cut too deep and lose a little meat than to poke them and fuck it all up.
Rinse the carcass thoroughly, washing away any offal or hair that might be left. Dispose of the hide and guts and clean your sink completely using bleach before your old lady gets home.
DO NOT let your dogs eat any of the guts - parasites can be a killer for them.
To remove any gamey taste in the meat, I like to soak the carcasses in milk overnight before cooking, but in a survival situation this isn't practical.

There you have it - the whole operation (minus the retching) can be performed by a complete novice in less than 10 minutes.