I have 3 biological kids. The third one our insurance made us use a different doctor for delivery. I was in the room for all three, but on the last one, the doctor handed me scissors, and said " do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" Like I had a choice, at that point. I wanted to say, "Uh, no, that is what you get paid for." But of course, that wouldn't fly. That was the only one that the doctor gave my ex wife enough pain medications that she really didn't care much, until the very end. Trust me, that is the only way to go. The first two, she cut my hands bloody with her fingernails, and I mean, I had to get them bandaged up before I left the hospital bloody. I read about those women who used to have 8 or 9 kids, at home, with only a neighbor woman to help her. They must have been pretty damn tough.
You or someone is supposed to knaw the umbilical cord in two or if using a knife, you are supposed to shred it in two. It should have ragged edges when parted. It heals quicker.
Probably someone needed to knaw your tubes apart a long time ago too.
Speaking of shit and childbirth. It is common for the mother to drop a deuce during the process. Or so I’ve read. Can you imagine being down there as the doctor having your face mask splattered by anal gravy, vaginal and baby juice with all that fresh smell. Then have to go home and service the wife. The money has to be good. MadMarlin
They have those on a table near the door at all Penn State Frat parties.
ReplyDeleteThat's what they mean when they say, "She's a TEN."
Women's is tough.
ReplyDeleteSteve in Ky
Reminds me of one of those pasta measuring tools.
ReplyDeleteI have 3 biological kids. The third one our insurance made us use a different doctor for delivery. I was in the room for all three, but on the last one, the doctor handed me scissors, and said " do you want to cut the umbilical cord?"
ReplyDeleteLike I had a choice, at that point. I wanted to say, "Uh, no, that is what you get paid for." But of course, that wouldn't fly.
That was the only one that the doctor gave my ex wife enough pain medications that she really didn't care much, until the very end. Trust me, that is the only way to go. The first two, she cut my hands bloody with her fingernails, and I mean, I had to get them bandaged up before I left the hospital bloody.
I read about those women who used to have 8 or 9 kids, at home, with only a neighbor woman to help her. They must have been pretty damn tough.
pigpen51
You or someone is supposed to knaw the umbilical cord in two or if using a knife, you are supposed to shred it in two. It should have ragged edges when parted. It heals quicker.
DeleteProbably someone needed to knaw your tubes apart a long time ago too.
I don't think I need to worry about hurting her. She's been lying to me for years looking at that.
ReplyDeleteBackwoods Okie
Speaking of shit and childbirth. It is common for the mother to drop a deuce during the process. Or so I’ve read. Can you imagine being down there as the doctor having your face mask splattered by anal gravy, vaginal and baby juice with all that fresh smell. Then have to go home and service the wife. The money has to be good.
ReplyDeleteMadMarlin
They usually give the mother a enema just for that they did my ex for my 2 kids!!!
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