It was about 35-40 years ago, right about the time I started carrying a gun everywhere I went, that I realized the art of deflection is probably the way to go. I'd much rather be pissed off at myself sitting in my living room later that evening than proud of myself sitting in a prison cell for the next 20 years.
I tried that deflection stuff once back in the early 1960s. I was sitting in a Paterson, NJ gin mill about 2 AM having some brews minding my business when a half-drunk big guy starts. I told him I was a lover, not a fighter, just got off a 4 to 12 shift as a security guard in a whore house and I was tired. He appeared to buy it. I was relieved, but I needed some closure, so he was walking away I made the mistake of saying: "By the way before I left work your mother asked me to tell you to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home.
ReplyDeleteSo how did that work out for you? :P
DeleteI eventually healed.
DeleteEXCELLENT Video!! So true!
ReplyDeleteProverbs 15-1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
“Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. [He is also a fool.]”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
“The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: "Of course it is none of my business, but -- " is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
Or as my Grandfather used to say "Better to walk away quietly with folks thinking your an idiot-fool-coward than Proving them right by going to jail".
IPC Skills. Inter-Personal Communication, thats what it was called in the 80's, used it for the past 40+ years, 21 while working in a Federal Prison.
ReplyDeleteI remember hearing a similar sentiment from a podcast by Michael Bane, about when he was teaching martial arts, and being asked what he would do if confronted in a bar by someone. His response was that he would simply leave, much to the chagrin of the students.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that was the only correct answer, and the older one gets, the easier it is to see that fighting over stupid stuff is never a good idea. Save your energy for the important things, like choosing the best beer or laughing at politicians.
I was only 10 years old when my daddy died in prison. He ask me to promise him that I wouldn’t do the things he'd done, that I’d walk away from trouble if I can. It don’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek, you don’t have to fight to be a man.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up as the runt of my class, I've got a good nose for trouble, and I'm gone before it starts. As for a CC weapon, it is only drawn in the direst of circumstances to negate an imminent threat to me or mine. It is not my duty to be a hero and run toward the trouble. If I hear "pop-pop-pop" anywhere nearby, I AM GONE, because I already know where the exits are (and alternate exits). If that's a selfish attitude, I'll live with that.
ReplyDeleteGreat lesson.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I deflect and defuse, I'm never upset with myself later. I find myself snickering at how close some dumbass just came to assuming room temperature.
a) Nothing good happens in a bar full of drunks after dark, and it doesn't necessarily have to be that late.
ReplyDeleteb) The bar doesn't have to be full.
c) If you're drunk in a bar, you're part of the problem, not part of the solution.
d) If you call bullshit on a, b and c above, you need to stay out of bars, but you're unlikely to take that advice, which is why I stay out of bars. Good luck to you.
That's some sage advice.
DeleteA good lesson I learned in a self defense class: when driving, keep all ten fingers wrapped around the steering wheel.
ReplyDelete