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Friday, August 20, 2021

The shit I post(ed) on Facebook

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31 comments:

  1. Thanks for #20. I hate you man.

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  2. 20, I can't imagine getting that thing pregnant 3 times. Maybe more by now.

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    Replies
    1. Turkey Baster
      Turkey Baster
      Turkey Baster

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    2. She's the reason sex from behind would be considered medicinal.

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    3. He's OK with missionary incest, but even Bill agrees with that.

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    4. Well she certainly doesn't seem to have any other talents.

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    5. Scary enough that Oral counts as Anal.

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  3. #20 for the Win, WIN, WIN... only to be exceeded by a pic of her Mom.

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  4. Hilarious, all of them!
    Thank you for the laughs.
    I will steal all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. #8) Funny meme, but that is actually an EPI-Pen trainer, not the real deal. We get one with every set of new epinephrine injectors. Its lots of fun to take a trainer out on an unsuspecting newbie or unaware friend and fire it off on their thigh as you tell them it is a real one. They initially scream and then realize there is no needle and they were pranked. Hilarious!

    I actually used one for real for the first time last spring after 14 years in EMS and never having to stab someone. The dude really needed it. On the other hand, the nurse at the local school stabs kids on a regular basis for a slight rash. That is totally inappropriate per my medical protocol and control and they would nail me with disciplinary action. It is only for when the airway is closing due to anaphylaxis.

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    Replies
    1. People don't understand that epi can be a seriously bad thing, especially if you don't need it. The constricted vessel, elevated heart rate, etc. can have profound consequences. When they started handing out epi pens like pez dispensers to less than qualified individuals, I knew it would only be a matter of time before problems started.

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    2. One of the Fire Departments I worked in had training on Auto Injectors one day. The EMS trainer brought in training units with saline solution that actually worked. He also brought in oranges for us to use the injector on. Just after he handed out the injectors and before he started the class, a stream of water shot across the room. Looking toward the source I saw one of the guys had the needle sticking up through his thumb and thumbnail. It seems he placed his thumb over the wrong end of the injector before pressing it into the orange.

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    3. This one time in Vietnam . . .

      I was sitting around and for some reason that escapes me now, I decided to start messing around with one of the atropine nerve gas injectors they issued us.

      Yeah, you guessed it. I shot myself with it. 'Oh, shit!' I remember thinking. I was alone, so I lie down on my bunk and prayed (1) nobody would find out about it, and (2) I wouldn't die. After about half an hour nothing happened, so I got up and went to chow.

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  6. Chelsea Hubbell never looked better. And that's really saying something.

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    Replies
    1. She's as pretty as her mama

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    2. And as ugly as her biological father.

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    3. I thought her name was Chelsea Manning

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    4. At least she wasn't entered on the "I'm sure she's taken" page

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  7. I won't believe she got pregnant by sex unless I see the videos. On second thought , I don't need to know

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    Replies
    1. And if she did, I don't want to know with what. I guessing peanut butter and/or lots of alcohol had to be involved.

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  8. #1: I asked the injector if the vaccine would turn me into a green muscular strong man like Incredible Hulk. He said green alright, but more like Kermit the frog.

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  9. #20. I know we can't help what we look like but DAMN, that's buttugly
    JD

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  10. When a blow job counts as anal.

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    Replies
    1. One is pretty and smooth. The other has teeth.

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  11. #5, Pants were invented by the people who started riding horses way back when..

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  12. #20 She IS the reason that there are draw strings on ditty bags

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  13. # 3 I can't speak for other men but when I go silent during sex it is because I don't want to wake up the wife

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    Replies
    1. Same reason I put my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg at night....

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