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Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Whoops

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A Jacksonville Fire and Rescue (JFRD) Lieutenant submitted bereavement requests for the same family member’s funeral twice in two years, according to a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office arrest warrant. 

Lt. Johnnie Buchanan requested bereavement in October of 2018 for an aunt’s funeral service. The warrant stated when he submitted his request to human resources, he included the aunt’s memorial card, per JFRD policy.

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For about the last 6-7 years I worked at the ammo plant, we worked 6 days a week for 12 hours (plus an extra hour for the set-up men) and 8 hours on Sunday, and about the only way to get a guaranteed day off was either an injury or a funeral for a family member.
Paulie took full advantage of that - motherfucker's 'family' was dying like flies. If he had something to do that day, he'd check the obits, make up a nice story, then inform HR that his beloved cousin/aunt/whatever had passed away and he needed the day off. He'd go to the funeral home, sign the book and get a funeral card, then walk out and hit the lake for a nice day's fishing.
Nobody ever questioned it - until the day he went to his alleged mother-in-law's funeral. He was standing in the foyer of the funeral home signing the book and he looked up and who does he see? Our boss who was there attending HIS mother-in-law's funeral.
Rod told Paulie to report to HR the next day and that at his next job he should be more careful and check the spouses of the survivors in the obits.

14 comments:

  1. Heh. Never thought of using the obits….

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    1. According to Wirecutter doing so is fraught with danger. Numerically the danger is low. But even COVID kills .05% of the people who get it. /s

      Delete
  2. I have two daughters named Sally. Honest.

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  3. In the Jacksonville case there is a clear explanation.
    She died and was buried in 2018, but then, after she voted for Joe in 2020 had to be buried again.
    Nothing wrong with that.

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    Replies
    1. Ha!

      At 9:27, that's the funniest comment of the day across 8 blogs. Thank you!

      Delete
  4. I worked with a guy in LA who was an avid golfer. A big tournament came into town and he called in sick. The front page of the sports section the next day had a big picture of Tiger Woods in his drive follow through. The sick employee was standing directly behind the tee box with a big ol grin.

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  5. How is a day off worth losing a job with 18 years seniority. Losing the Pension. But now the Police should get a warrant to search his home to look for stuff stolen from the job. WE had a guy that lied about baing sick whenever there was a party or pool tournament at his local. When he had back surgery he had already gone through most of his accrued sick leave. At 24 years afetr never really having done a days work he was caught hot in a ramdom drug test and fired. From there he went to work in a Pharmaceutical plant.

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  6. My Japanese brother-in-law taught me the expression "obaachan o korosu", "kill your grandmother", as a common excuse given by university students for playing hooky.

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  7. Now you have FMLA. You get a maximum of 504 hours a year for medical issues, your own, or a family member. There's a guy I work with gets "migraines". Never happens to get them while at work, but he's good for at least one day a week, and we also work 12 hour shifts, alternating 3 or 4 days a week, mostly. Some weeks he gets a 12 hour check, sometimes none. And he uses all 504 hours by the end of the year. 12 hour check, minus taxes and benefit deductions, he probably ends up owing the company money. No one can figure out how he does it.

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    Replies
    1. FMLA can be a good program but it's easily abused.
      It allowed me to take time off to take care of my wife who is legally blind, driving her to her doctor's appointments for her other ailments without fear of being fired for it.
      But at the same time, I worked with a guy that had FMLA for 4 different family members that had 4 different doctors. Basically it allowed him to work whenever he wanted, the company's needs be damned. It also put a hurt on his fellow employees that had to pick up his slack.

      Delete
    2. Yep, exactly, and in addition, my guy signs up for an extra day, gets scheduled, day before, he calls up looking for someone to work it for him, no one wants to do it, because FYTW, so then he calls out.

      Delete
  8. Worked with a fellow 20-25 years ago who pulled that shit.
    HR finally got wise when he killed off his "grandmother in Georgia" for the second time, and they found out she was still alive.

    He wasn't fired for that, or other things that would have landed you or me in jail.
    He was "protected".

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  9. That's it? That's all he did? I could see a slap on the wrist and paying back the money, but that's pretty harsh.

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  10. Wasn't there a movie about that called the Funeral Crashers?

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