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Tuesday, September 06, 2022

The shit I posted on Facebook

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19 comments:

  1. #5. Yeah, those bananas are too ripe for nanner bread by about two days.

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    1. It's a natural defense mechanism to keep them from being use in a San Francisco bathhouse. They fein being infected with MonkeyPox.

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    2. I would peel them and throw them out my back door. One of the squirrels that hung out here loved them.

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  2. I had a friend that owned a African Grey(I have a Scarlet) and the bird could exactly mimic the sound of his phone ringing. Drove him crazy. Grey are supposed to be the smartest parrots but I'll tell ya, mine doesn't miss a fucking thing.

    Here's a cool story about one-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_(parrot)

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    1. Had a parrot for several years that we rescued. Also had several parakeets over the years. These birds are a lot more intelligent than most would believe.

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    2. My grandparents had parakeets. One time, one of them learned to imitate my grandfather, who had emphysema. The bird learned to cough. I would go to my grandparents house, and my grandma would be there alone, and I would hear this coughing, and not see my grandpa. Then I would realize that it was that damn bird.
      And the Dollar Stores around here now are the Dollar and a Quarter Stores. The raised their prices by .25 cents. Still a bargain, but thanks FJB.

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    3. I have a bird outside my house that imitates the sound beeping of an electronic device rebooting. I am an electronics tech; I have dozens of devices. We have flaky power here, so I get a dozen real beeps and a dozen bird beeps every day.

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  3. #3 Is just wrong. You've outdone yourself.

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    1. #3 So it's okay to print "fucking" on a meme, and NOT okay to show two little gook nipples.

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    2. Wait, isn't #3 a picture of a unicorn? I can't keep up.

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  4. #11 I just fell off my chair laughing. I think I broke my hip, but I'm STILL laughing. --nines

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  5. #3 Is completely beyond the pale. I can't imagine there is anyone I could ever forward that to. The mind that could conceive of a meme that warped needs to be incarcerated.
    Well done!

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  6. We wait, deliberately, until the bananas are dark brown, and fully ripe. They're going in a muffin (banana bread is a jumped-up muffin with a good PR team) anyway, so who cares if they're soft? The point is the flavor and sweetness!

    Also, I'm pretty sure going to burn just for reading that third one. Touché.

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    1. Yep. If the bananas aren't brown and mushy, the banana bread just won't be the same.

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  7. Speaking of parrots
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ_wO0r16ww

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  8. #13: As someone who watches way too much porn, this is a big pet peeve of mine. So many otherwise great scenes are completely ruined by shit like this. The LAST thing I ever want to see when watching porn is some dude's face. The extreme closeup of some dude's gaping asshole is almost as bad. A man in a porn scene should never be anything more than a faceless dick. Also, please just shut the fuck up. Don't yell, don't moan, don't talk. Just be quiet.

    Obviously there are people who want to see this, or it wouldn't happen. I mean, there's a whole market for fat chick porn, so people are into all kinds of stuff that I find repulsive. To each his or her own.

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