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Thursday, December 15, 2022

Survey Ranks Tennessee as One of the Top States ‘Kindest to Neighbors’

The second annual “United States of Kindness” academic study – led by kindness.org and commissioned by Verizon and Nextdoor – researched kindness between neighbors and the impact that kindness has on communities across the U.S. 

The study consisted of asking 10,000 people from all 50 states which kind acts they would do for their neighbors. The results found that Tennessee residents ranked second in the study in regard to being the kindest neighbors in America.

*****

That's been my experience for sure. Maybe not with the things in the linked article, but in other ways.

When I lived in California the last few years, I didn't even know my neighbor's names and didn't care to get to know them.
Here, not only do I know the nearest ones, but we'll go out of our way to help each other if we see a need.

One of the first instances of this I saw was right after we first moved out here. We had a big hickory blow down during a hell of a windstorm and I was cutting it up for firewood. The branches weren't that big of a deal but once I got to the trunk, I was having a hard time splitting it with a maul and wedges and was whining and sniveling about it on this blog.
One of my readers who comments as waitingForTheStorm and lives in Macon County, shot me an email volunteering his labor and the use of his splitter to help out. I hadn't even met the guy at that point. I didn't take him up on it, going down and buying my own splitter instead, but I thought it was very unusual that he'd offer.
Turns out that attitude isn't at all unusual for these parts.

I don't have a garage or even an overhead cover for my vehicles, and a while back we got an alert on the weather radio about storms with large hail. I started to grab some moving blankets to protect my windshields, but noticed the young man working on his property next door, so I went over and asked if I could nose my vehicles into his pretty full pole barn for an hour or two instead. "Hell yeah, you can," Tyler says. "Hold on a second."  Then he went over and moved a tractor out, then hooked up his bush hog and pulled it out too, telling me that a little hail wouldn't hurt them and to just pull my vehicles in all the way.

My nearest neighbors across the road: It's the husband and wife and her mother Miss Katherine who is something like 92 years old. Tim works out of state and is gone quite a bit during the warm months, and Kathy works out of town, leaving Miss Katherine alone during the day 4-5 days a week. Well, naturally they're concerned about leaving her alone but they have to work, so they asked if I'd check up on her and of course I agreed. No big deal, she's in good shape physically and sharp as a tack mentally, but it gives everybody there a measure of comfort knowing somebody's close by just in case.
Every morning at 9 o'clock on the days she's alone, I call over to check on and shoot the shit with her for a few minutes, the Life Alert people have our number, and I have access to a key to their house in case the FD or paramedics need to get in.
Anything I have that they need, it's theirs for the asking and it goes both ways. I swear, Tim's used my cargo trailer more than I have. They've given me rides down to our mechanic's shop to drop off and pick up vehicles, and I've done the same for them. When their garden comes in, we've got fresh vegetables. 
We don't have a storm shelter or basement in our house, but anytime we get a strong storm with the possibility of tornadoes, we can count on a call to come over and sit with them in their basement until it passes, and we've taken them up on it a few times. They don't even object to me bringing that asshole dog Jack with us.
It's the little things, too. I was sitting here just a couple days ago and Kathy called Lisa. "Tell that old man of yours to get on over here if you'uns wants a loaf of this bread I just took out of the oven." I was over there in a flash.
The thing is, we're not what most people think of as friends. We're friendly towards each other and will do whatever we can to help out, but we don't visit back and forth for the most part. I may go over and trash talk the government with Tim maybe once every couple weeks for an hour or so and that's about it as far as social interactions go, but we all know we can count on each other if the need arises.

27 comments:

  1. sounds like yall / they are good neighbors.

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    1. It sure makes life a lot easier, especially living this far out of town.

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  2. Heh Heh, Georgia number one. Not that neighborliness is important to me, but it is a nicety. I just preferred to be left to my own vices.

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  3. Kingston, Roane county here. God's country brother.

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  4. Grew up in farm country, south-central Nebraska. Thought that was just how people were. Then I went to college and met people from larger metro areas. While there, participated in a publicity stunt to raise money for a student with cancer...said stunt involved going completely across the state. Had a car breakdown just outside a western Nebraska town and walked in to town, to the only house with the lights on at 0-dark thirty. Rancher family getting ready for morning chores. Invited us in, set out a plate of freshly baked cookies, and delayed chores until they helped get the car running again. The guy with me, from Omaha, was gobsmacked.

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  5. Kenny, I grew up in Columbia; south of Nashville, in the 60's. I know what you mean. Good people, always willing to help, just not up your ass all the time.
    TomOldGuy

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  6. Had just moved in (N Roane County) and fella next door came over to say hi. Later talking about the firepit we bought and he brings over a load of firewood for it. Asked him how much I owed him, he just looks shocked "Nothing. We're neighbors."

    High trust society. Can't beat it.
    Steve S6

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  7. I think the real truth is found in what people think their neighbors would do. Most people will be shading their answers so be thought "good" person. Comparison charts found here: https://view.highspot.com/viewer/63656e7f1c3066e500239464

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  8. As a number of us have said before, welcome to Tennessee, Ken. Welcome home.
    --Tennessee Budd

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  9. We took a vacation from Michigan to Kansas, to visit my dad's brother in Junction City, aka Ft.Riley. Our neighbor had just bought a new car. Like JUST bought it. And she insisted we take her brand new car on our trip to Kansas and back. This would have been back in 1971, I think. Unbelievable.

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  10. Here's a funny video of kindly neighbors in Texas.

    Californians Move to Texas.
    https://youtu.be/HlDWzN6TW5Y

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  11. People with no exposure, would think it counterintuitive. Why? Because TN, and those in the higher areas, tend to be "leave me alone" types. Being of that environment, I'm not surprised at either the story, nor your experience.

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  12. Watch all 5 episodes on www.babylonbee.com. They are hilarious. The Babylon Bee bills itself as " Fake News You Can Trust".

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  13. With neighbors like that I bet even Jack's Asshole meter is on pause.

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  14. WC: Thanks for the mention. And, yes, the folks around here are exceptional. Hell, I even have young whippersnappers open the doors for me and usher me in at the local Walmart. And they do it with a smile and well wishes; never lived anywhere else where folks are this friendly and helpful.

    I have been careful to adapt myself to the community and not vice versa. In conversations I have had, the locals have expressed that we are like locals. When the antifa goons were said to want to deface our courthouse, war memorial, and original flag of the Confederacy, I was actually asked to be a part of the defense contingent. I spent nights over the July 4 holiday on the square all night with a group of like minded local patriots; the organizer's family was one of the first settlers in the county and he is a really cool guy. I saw it as a badge of acceptance that I was one of the few that was asked and I stood right up and did it. We did have a few run ins with the antifa crowd and we had hourly visits from the LPD and sheriffs to share intelligence. It was fun and I learned a bunch about Macon county.

    When I was prepping the house (cleaning, painting, etc) over a month of weekends before my wife arrived, a guy down the street drove up and offered his services if I needed help. A while later, when we built our new house, one of his friends came out and complained that we were not using locals. Well the builder was local (but was only second generation residents) and all of his crews were local as much as possible; a 70 year old on the carpenter's crew was born at the house just up the valley from our property. A couple of months later, the complaining guy came by and thanked me. He said that my talk with him had prompted him to swallow his pride and he had approached my builder for a chance to paint his houses. He ended up being the painter of choice for my builder and he painted my house. He said that he and his wife were, at the time, one house payment from being bankrupt and on the street and that my discussion had awakened him and saved him from economic ruin. When we run into them in town, they are really friendly and we always have a great talk.

    I could go on, but I think you get the point. I love being here. My wife loves being here. We have been embraced by the local community and we have a good collection of genuine friends here, more so than any place we have ever lived.

    When I am in a store or the public arena and have to excuse myself for walking between someone and the products, the response is an immediate and heartfelt: Oh, you're fine hun. Really. Macon County is a magical place and the people here are good Christians.

    As for me: I say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone on this blog and to everyone of my neighbors, near and far. I get a broad smile from everyone when I proclaim it. Sorry to have gone on so, but we have never regretted our move here and look forward to many more years of the country life.

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  15. Great post. Similar experiences here in very north Georgia where I live. After I get to know locals, they'll often ask me where I'm from (apparently after 40 years in the south, my northern accent still sneaks through). Oftentimes, when they find out they'll make a comment to the effect "well if Yankees are going to be moving into this area, I hope it's your type of Yankee". Trust me, from a local, that's one of the best compliments one could get. Only one better was when an elderly, "very local" lady and I had become friends she said to me "Oh honey, the way you are and the way you live, you're a genuine southerner, don't let folks tell you otherwise. Made my day/week/month/year.

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    Replies
    1. A few years ago I was in the gunshop and had just handed over my 4473 and the guy behind the counter (who I'm on good terms with) asked loudly, "Hey Kenny, where were you born again?" and I replied, "California, thanks for putting that out there for the rest of the world to hear," and an older gentleman smiled and said, "Well, you're in Tennessee now, and that's all that counts."

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  16. I never even heard of the deal on the 4th of July! You should've sent me an email, I'd have gladly come down to join y'all.

    You're right, the way people in this county treat each other is nothing short of amazing. I've yet to hear an argument or cross word in public, and I've been here for what, almost 7 years now?

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  17. I'm from Atlanta, but I try to keep it quiet in this small NE Georgia town and my wife is from Maryville, Tennessee. We met in New Jersey but that's another tale. On our first visit to her folks in Maryville after we were married, some guys were pouring a new driveway at their house. I said to my father-in-law something to the effect that you just sit around and people will come and pour you a new driveway. He said, "Yeah, but one of these days you'll be expected to show up at their place when something needs doing."

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  18. Pop migrated us from Swamp East Missouri to Central Illinois when I was a youngster, I'm now 73. I've got Kin scattered all thru the South, and some in the Union City Tennessee area. I took my family for a visit there when my daughters were young. My Aunt took my wife shopping one day, and she couldn't get over how nice all the merchants were. Once back home, I hear her relate that to several people over the years....Too bad that southern
    attitude didn't transfer to her somewhat, I might not have divorced her narcissistic ass.

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  19. Stretch says on the feralirishman regarding East Tennessee - As my wife observes; "They're so nice down here, they wave with all 5 fingers."
    Okrathief

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    1. I had to learn new driving habits. Instead of my hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, now I drive with one hand draped over the top of the wheel so I can wave back at oncoming traffic.

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    2. My father in law from my first wife (who I still consider a father in law as we've maintained our closeness) taught me that about waving literally to everyone he drove by. I used to tease him about it and after about 5 years of hanging out with him, picked up the habit myself. Now I do it every time I'm on one of the back country roads where I live. Even my wife (an immigrant from Colombia) has started doing it. I told her she's up for a straw hat and piece of grass in her mouth if she keeps it up. She said the country life agrees with her. A lot different than her home city of Bogota.

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    3. It's funny but around here people in cars don't wave, but almost every pickup driver does. Occasionally you'll get a twofer with both the driver and passenger waving.

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