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Tuesday, January 31, 2023

The shit I posted on Facebook

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34 comments:

  1. Absolutely loved #14. Sorry to say I've been down that road more than just a time or two myself. and I lost a couple of those battles too!

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  2. ive lost the will to live after seeing number 11.

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  3. 19- In South Texas we used to go around turning over rocks looking for scorpions and tarantulas and so on. You should hear what one of those 6 inch long red-headed cenitpedes sounds like rattling around in a metal coffee can! Back then every Red Ant bed had a horned toad lizard sitting in it eating ants. Life was good!

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  4. #6 I believe that is the 4 year challenge.

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  5. #16...I've been that fucked up before...

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  6. 4: Mmmmm…okra.
    8: Funny only because “Xavier” and his photo.
    18: FTW.

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  7. #9 If that's how the text reads, sell him the gun, then turn him in to his parole officer.

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  8. I have to say, #2 is a cutie. And it is certainly not a pony tail. We know what is under a pony tail.

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  9. Now hear me out ... actually, pineapple on pizza is a delectable treat.

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    Replies
    1. That kind of talk will get you banned.

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    2. If I had a rubber hose right now I would …..

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    3. Must have been dropped on his head as a kid.

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    4. You must reside on some kind of a different Island!

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    5. #11 is dressed to eat pineapple pizza.

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    6. Absolutely! Pineapple, ham and jalapeno is without question the greatest pizza combo in the Universe!

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    7. Any MF'er condoning ham or pineapple on a pizza is going to Hell for blasphemy.
      - WDS

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  10. #11 "If you could travel back in time and show your 10 year old self that this is how he is going to turn out, what would your 10 year old self say? How would he feel?" (At least I think it's a he. It's looking at jewelry - as if that could possibly help.)

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  11. Just be home when the street light come on!

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  12. #4 Henryk Fantazos (1944) American painter. No, I don't know what he liked to smoke.

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  13. #1) She: "No, you make ME a sandwich"
    Merlin: "Sure, Abra cadabra... poof, you're a sandwich".

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    Replies
    1. I think there's a step missing: using a steam roller so it will fit between the giant size bread slices.

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  14. I must be dense, I don't get 20, yeah, and pineapple is only good for coconut.

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    1. I read it as 4 different "sins".. steak is well done, toilet paper is rolled the "wrong" way, a cyclist is in the way of a car (damned cyclists think they own the road), and pineapple on pizza. The 4th is a mortal sin where I am (NYC)

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    2. Overdone meat cooked on an unseasoned grill. Toilet paper hung the wrong way so you can't get enough to wipe your ass after you shit out the overdone meat. The douchebag with the dirty ass showing it to you as he rides sloooowly in front of you. Microwaved Pineapple pizza douchebag is having for supper after cruising through town at rush hour.

      HTR

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  15. #5 must be Hebrew vagina devil magic--that's a 6-pointed star.
    --Tennessee Budd

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  16. Steak is over cooked, Toilet paper properly comes off front of roll, bike riders think they are equal to a car and pineapple on pizza is an abomination.

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    Replies
    1. Toilet paper comes off the front of the roll - until you get a cat that likes to unroll it.

      markm

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  17. #11 is proof that #5 devil vagina magic has limitations.

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  18. #4 Could very well be a Pink Floyd album cover

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  19. When there's that one guy who insists on pizza with pineapple on it, so you order one for him, and he eats one piece of it, and has a bunch of actual good pizza along with it, so there's not quite enough for everybody else, but there's this whole pineapple pizza leftover and nobody is gonna touch it. Pineapple on pizza just creates disharmony.

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  20. OK the Simon and Mutherfunkle one really made me laugh.

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