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Wednesday, February 01, 2023

Damn, talk about uppity

Now that Kevin Hart has returned to the road for his 2022-23 “Reality Check” tour, promoters everywhere are grappling with the star’s tour rider, which addresses “VERY IMPORTANT” requirements like floss sticks and “Man scented candles,” as well as his black stool, for which “substitutions will not be accepted.” 

The 43-year-old comedian’s rider, which covers 46 pages, is testament to Hart’s status as an A-list concert draw. Highlights of the document include:

17 comments:

  1. "I be da KANG of Comedy!"
    Didn't see grape drank or Skittles on his list.
    Some people...

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  2. Instead of needing a black stool...he's become the black stool

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  3. "Black Stool"? He better get to a Gastroentrologist/Oncologist asap!.

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  4. Damn. You know, I like the guy. I think he's funny. So maybe I'll cut him a little slack. Is any of this tongue in cheek and part of his humor? Does he even know it exists or do "his people" do it for him and try to make themselves feel important by having all this lunacy inserted? Don't know.

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  5. He doesn't want law enforcement backstage, but at the same time, wants law enforcement so “Under no circumstances are vehicles to be allowed to encounter any delays due to traffic.”

    In other words, law enforcement proving once again they're thugs of the crown. Piss on his grave, and theirs.

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  6. Something else I won't go near on your dime.

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  7. Prima Donnas like this couldn't exist without the adulation of the peasantry.

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  8. Owen Benjamin is by far funnier and more grounded than this guy.

    Chutes Magoo

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  9. It's not that unusual. I worked security at a theatre and I think Leann Rimes was 36 pages of bullshit and then she didn't even show. We had one comedian who wanted his water poured in a cup a certain way and wanted no eye contact with any of the staff. Most of the requirements are throwaways and to make sure the facility actually reads the contract. No your not getting a virgin albino worm skin sofa in your dressing room, nor 10 cases of Blanton's bourbon. Some of the folks were great, some real pain in the asses. Just like everywhere.

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    1. Yes, so they read the contract. I heard one rock band member (don't remember who) interviewed. He said they show up with two 18-wheelers full of electronic and sound equipment. If there are no 'M&Ms with the brown ones taken out' in the dressing room, the stage won't be prepared for the set-up.

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    2. The no brown M&M request was a strategic necessity. In those days, a big show was three semi loads. Van Halen's show required nine. There were critical power and structural requirements for the show. If they showed up at a venue and saw little ladies with their hair covered picking out the brown M&M's with gloved hands, they knew the promoter had read the contract and they could relax. If they saw brown M&M's, they checked everything before setting up. They arrived at one venue after the roadies started assembling the stage and saw brown M&M's. When they started checking things they found that the stadium had recently installed a special flooring that couldn't handle the weight of their equipment. The damage cost the venue over $100,000 to repair. At another, they found that the power available wouldn't handle the lighting and equipment. Since they were forewarned by the M&M's, they were able to get it straightened out in time to setup and perform. Some outlandish requirements are due to ego, but many are simply to protect the performer.

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  10. Me thinks the court jester has out stayed his welcome. How about you show up, do the show, then get the fuck out. And no stool deposits are being accepted.

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  11. I watched a Letterman show where he interviewed Tony Randall. Letterman was reading a list of Randall’s dressing room demands. Randall looked funnier and funnier. The last demand was that the dressing room be painted a dark brown, Letterman asked if that was true. Randall said I don’t know Letterman asked how could he not know Randall replied I’m colorblind. It was very funny.
    JFM

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  12. I'll never understand the success of Kevin Hart. His standup is quite mediocre (and there's no shortage of brilliant comedians around) and he makes one awful movie after another.

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  13. He is a loud mouth, ignorant idiot. I don't even watch commercials he is on and surely would not buy any product he hawks. Just listening to his unjustified appreciation of his loud caterwauling is offensive to me. I don't let anyone yell at me for any reason. At best I walk away. At worst, well, I can be right loud and nasty myself; but, that part of me does not get let out very often any more.

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    1. I felt the same way about Sam Kinison. I never could understand what anybody saw in that fatmouthed loud motherfucker.

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