Jy’Quale Samari Grable, 21, was found guilty in U.S. District Court in November of conspiracy to commit robbery, robbery, and first-degree premeditated murder.
-Denise
******
I'm blaming that mini-series Roots and its main character Kunte Kinte for these weird-ass names.
A few months ago I found my old high school's yearbooks online and I was going through it, looking for old forgotten friends from the Classes of 1976 and 1977. One of the things that struck me were the black kid's names.
We had black kids named William, James, Brian, Timothy, Mark, shit like that. We even had a Nigel and if that ain't the whitest fucking name you've ever heard of, I don't know what is. There was maybe one Tyrone. Regular names. No weird or unpronounceable ones. Oh sure, the black kids had nicknames like Casper, Pookie and Slick, but they all answered to their given names if you hollered at them.
Then that series Roots came out in 1977, and 10 years later we started seeing kids named D'Kay and Boo'gernose and WelFarious in the school systems. Now it's unusual to see a young black man with a normal name.
I like 'Curtis.' Curtis is the perfect name for the trumpet player in a jazz quartet. Probably addicted to heroin, but at least we get some good music.
ReplyDeleteremember the black kid whose nickname was "mickey" because of his ears? real cool kid.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember that one but I'll go through the pictures again soon. He shouldn't be that hard to spot.
Delete70’s. Yeah, I’m that old. Polyester. Kid in our school was black. No one cared. His name was Chip. Kids started calling him chocolate chip. He was cool with it.
DeletePeople are wrapped too tight now. Offended? Fuck off. Grow up.
Ragnar
Just some more of old Billy Brewsters kids. Twins...Lemonjello and Orangello.
ReplyDeleteShirley Q. Liquor had some kids with that name too.
Deletehttps://youtu.be/DDZyUY5PegQ?t=42
Minor correlation? The more 'creative' the name, the higher the likelihood to appear in a news story like this or live an abbreviated lifespan. The Bill's, Jim's, Fred's, and Tyrone's are less likely to live in a place, or manner, that will make the news.
ReplyDeleteYou could probably get a gubmint grant to study that!
DeleteNow I have to go watch that Key and Peele video about jay Quelan and Ba Lockay again.
DeleteBear Claw
Welfare moms should not be able to give their babies career prohibiting monikers until baby momma can pass a spelling test.
ReplyDeleteSome kids are born with moms and dads...some are born with criminal records
DeleteDon't forget Kunta Kinte's sister Renta Kunte. These people who come up with these ScFi comic book monikers are like little emotional wanna be like whitey but better 5 year old monkeys tossing a hissy fit.
ReplyDeleteI think the strangest name a black kid in my high school class had was Dante. The rest were Eric, Robert, Byron, etc. So far as I know, they've all gone on to lead normal, productive lives.
ReplyDeleteExcept for Kabookie (1 year behind me). He ended up in jail for murder when he was 17.
What about Velveeta Jones?
DeleteUsed to be, black kids were named after famous white people like, well, Dante and Socrates and other very very white names. Because blacks after the Civil War were some of the most literate people in America (as a group). Oh, how times have changed.
DeleteI always thought that the apostrophe was nothing more than an identifying mark for 'welfare recipient'.
ReplyDeleteI always think of the urban teacher in a suburban school.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQaLic5SE_I
ya, but now that shit is being appropriated by Whypepo.
ReplyDeleteI've recently been going through another jazz phase of the Count Basie and Duke Ellington era. I had noticed the "normal" names from those days. I grew up in the segregated South and didn't go to school with Black folk so I wouldn't know but I did work with Black college graduates in in the sixties and they had names just like us. They also had intact families.
ReplyDeleteNice story in "Unintended Consequences" about how an ATF agent known as GG, was named "Gonorrhea Gloria".
ReplyDeleteThis is so appropriate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO1oBfG59Xw
ReplyDeleteYou wanna go to war Balacké?
DeleteOh, come on! America needs more crack addicts named Shitavious! Check yo privilege, Whitey!
ReplyDeleteI went to school with the son of two pediatricians. He told me that his father delivered a negro child and the father asked him what he suggested as a name. He recommended Treponema Pallidum, the name of the spirochete that causes syphilis. The father liked it, so somewhere there is a 60 or 70 year old negro named Treponema (if he wasn't shanked in lockup). I thought, nah, come on. That sounds like some anecdotal story in the medical community, but he swore it was true.
My personal favorites are the brothers Lemonjello (pronounced leh-MAHN-jeh-LO) and Orangejello (O-rahn-jeh-LO). And I believe their sister is Cherry Desertta.
ReplyDelete"L-Sha". And remember, the dash don't be silent. True story....
Delete- WDS
" Welfarious " first laugh all week !
ReplyDeleteAny y'all remember the late night infomercial back in the 90's featuring a black male & female couple hawking a 1-900 number that you could call and pay for your very own African name? It was hysterical and I bet they made a fortune off of peeps looking to be unique. BTW, "Uni'que" happens to be quite the urban name now days.....
ReplyDelete- WDS
When I was in high school back in the '80s, we had six black males in the whole school. Lamont, Leroy, Alvin, Calvin, Monty, and "Slick". Slick was a nickname, he was cueball bald. Story was in 6th grade he developed some kind of fungus in his football helmet and it made his hair fall out. We had 4 black females. Two oreos, Heather and Monica. A Jamie Lynn and a Ruby. The last two were as ghetto as you could get in rural West Ky. They got in a fight in the hall, fighting over Leroy. One was about 5' tall and 300lbs, the other was close to 6' and 250. Was a knock down drag out with clumps of hair on the floor from one end of the hall to the other.
ReplyDeleteI remember back in the days when we had our kids - mid Eighties or so - the local paper had a births column. "A son, Whitey, 8 lb 8 oz born to Mr. and Mrs. Bob Bulger on August 26." This is when I really started noticing the deviance of the black culture, when all the outlandish nogger names, the Shitaviouses and the Princess Shanequas were being born to single black mammies with equally outlandish names.
ReplyDeleteBoo'gernose
ReplyDeleteoh shit I spit out my drank
Cutter wins internets for the day
R
Arrington, TN
But but but "I'm DIFFERENT? Just like everyone else."
ReplyDeleteClass of mid 80's. One family had a Joe, Mike, and Tammy. Other family had a Tanya and Tyrone.
ReplyDeleteIndian kids (native not dot) were Rita, Billie Joe, and Bubba (I actually think was his legal name).
Hispanic kids were Rob, Stacy, Billy, Troy, and Gina.
Different world.
Cook, Shitavious
ReplyDeleteJan 16, 2015 — Shitavious Cook was sentenced to 22 years in prison after pleading guilty to attempted first-degree murder and dismembering a human body in ....
https://herald-review.com/cook-shitavious/image_a876e16d-b4c3-50e9-b341-64e639bd5c9d.html
A Nurse in new born care told me a couple names. The last for best.
ReplyDeleteLatrenia. Then Female pronounced Fa mal E. One women didn't know how to spell the name for the birth certificate. She had a piece of cardboard in her purse that said, Lemon Jello pronouned La mon jel low.
A friend was a school teacher. Had a black girl in her class with a name that was pronounced "N-amul" (spelled Enamel). My friend commented on the unusual name and where it came from. The parents told her that they got the name from a can of paint.
ReplyDeleteI sure wish I had bookmarked that 'Black Name Generator' or whatever they called it. The thing that us White guys could use to determine what our black name would be by entering our phone number, I think it was. That thing was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI went out to the waiting room to call my patient, "Z'Q." So I called out, "Zuh-Que?" And got chastised, because apparently the patient's name was pronounced, "Zack." 🙄
ReplyDeleteOr you could've said loudly, "The gentleman who's name starts with Z and has a lesion on his balls, please?"
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAbout ten years ago, I read about the mug shot game. Works every time. Make up the most ridiculous ghetto name you can think of, then search that name and the words "mug shot." Darvante, Quintavious, they'll all bring back full pages of results.
ReplyDeleteWhen naming their children, how in the hell can anyone say to themselves "Jy’Quale and Aquavious sound great!".
ReplyDeleteThis does remind me of the awesome Key & Peele East/West College Bowl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss
.....and a resurgence in names such as Tor, Ragnar, Victor, Salvatore, Octavius, Angus....
ReplyDeletefirst the "le" and the "de" in front of almost any regular name. and then they got creative. Shi-theed (but spelled shithead) and Va-Jeena( spelled vagina).
ReplyDeleteWe even had a Nigel and if that ain't the whitest fucking name you've ever heard of, I don't know what is.
ReplyDeleteOlden McPherson. I shit you not. Black kid in my 7th grade class. I used to mention him from time to time to my native-born Irish mother, and when she finally saw him and understood that I was referring to a kid who was black-as-coal, she damned near shat herself.
I work with an Adrian Flannery. I asked him one year what his plans were for St. Patrick's day.
DeleteHe says "Nothing. Why?"
"Well, it's your peoples holiday, right?" I say.
"What? No dude. I'm fucking adopted."
"Your not black Irish?"
"Fuck off"
Good dude.
I used to watch a local TV program when I lived on Long Island called 'Nassau's Most Wanted' because it featured this absurd Joe Friday White Guy voice trying to pronounce the niqqa names that predominated on the rolls. The suspect that stands out most in my memory is a dark-complected fellow whose middle name was "Ledzeppelin" (one word). I don't recall his first name, but he was identified as something along the lines of Daunte Ledzeppelin Clark.
ReplyDeleteWhat profoundly retarded single dindu brood sow would choose to name one of her prison-doomed sprogs after the whitest white-bread ENGLISH band of all time in, of all places, tony, uber-White Lawn Guyland?
You simply cannot make this shit up. A point comes where you just shake your head, chuckle a bit, and conclude that some demographic groups were merely sent here as a joke by the almighty.