Thursday, March 23, 2023

All About Dat Beard

A simple conversation today about beards, growing them, caring for them, and why, as a man, you should have one.
VIDEO HERE  (26:50 minutes)


I've worn a beard most of my adult life and for sure the past 15 years with just a couple exceptions. 
My reasons weren't for style, it's just that I absolutely hate to shave. Even when I'm without a beard, I've always got a few days worth of stubble on my face.

My beard lengths vary from under an inch to 'damn, lookit that hillbilly' long, mostly leaning to the long extreme. It's usually long enough to where I can grab it with both fists with an inch or two protruding past my bottom fist.
Back when I was in my 20s, my beard and hair were the same length, down to the bottom of my ribcage, which made trimming both real easy. I'd just turn in a circle while my girlfriend stood in one spot and snipped away.
When I worked out at the ammo plant I kept it long for the same reason the other guys sporting one did. It's much easier to braid it or put in hair ties every 3-4 inches and tuck it into your T shirt to keep it from getting hung up when working around moving machinery.

Right now it's running at about an inch and a half long. I fucked it up a month or so ago when trimming it and I needed a haircut anyway so I just went to the barber who cut it a lot shorter than I wanted, but not really that big a deal - shit grows back.

.When I got laid off at the ammo plant and had an interview with Safeway I cut my hair and shaved my beard. My then-wife took one look and said "You lied to me. You don't have a swastika tattooed on your chin."

I use Ivory soap on it when it's short, then switch over to shampoo and conditioner when it gets long enough to start tangling after I towel off. I've never used any oil or balm on my beard. Even though my hair is baby fine, my beard is fairly coarse so it stays the way I comb it without all that hipster shit in it.


Way back in the '80s me and my buddy David were headed to San Francisco to see the Jerry Garcia Band at the Warfield.
As I pulled up to pay my toll to cross the Bay Bridge, the heavily tattooed Mexican dude in the toll booth looked up and startled, then crossed himself before grinning and asking my blessing.
"Right on, don't sin no more, homie" I said as I waved my hand vaguely in the shape of a cross towards him.
Primo still made me pay the damned toll though.


  1. How was the show?

  2. I generally shave less than 10 times per year. Not that I try to grow a beard, I'm just fucking lazy. I know it's time to shave when I start getting ingrown hairs, my face gets really dry, or acne under the beard. I know I wouldn't have such problems if I would just shave more often, but I can't be bothered usually.

  3. I too had a beard most my adult life. I hate shaving too and always had a full beard. Piss on that trimming shit. I went from about twenty-one to forty and cut my beard off. I aged twenty years in five minutes. Damn, I grew it right back. Next shave was I believe around sixty something. Then I'd grow one in the winter and harvest in spring. This is the first winter I have not grown a beard in a long time. My whiskers got old and brittle an bug the shit outta me.

  4. Started my current beard in the mid '90s. It has now turned gray.
    I trim it with comb & scissors every week or two when it gets out of hand- a bit longer since I retired.

  5. I keep my beard short in the summer. A half inch to one inch. It is about 4 inches right now. Any time it is over 2 inches I use coconut oil on it and my face. It helps from getting dandruff in the beard and keeps it from tangling.

  6. I've mostly had long hair ever since I was old enough to refuse to go to the barber shop at the Vancouver barracks with my retired USAF father. Couldn't grow a decent beard until I was in my 30's or so and mostly do it for the same reason, I hate to shave. My late wife used to get mad at me when I would shave after a few days of growing it out, her beef was I would shave it off right about the time it stopped being prickly.
    I have trimmed it a few times, but never shaved it off and the mustache has been with me since I could grow one,

  7. Mostly had a beard since '73 when I got out of the USAF. Long hair in the 70's but kept it relatively short when I started a tree service in 1980. For the last 20 years, I cut my hair (myself) whenever it gets long enough for morning bed hair. Cut my beard to about an inch at the same time, because I'm lazy and cheap about hair. Bath soap is Zest, for hair too. If I let it go long enough, it gets shampoo.

  8. Retired my razor & my barber when I retired from the USAF in 1999. 3 years later I got my beard stuck under a patch I was riveting to a wing. Had to cut my beard to get loose. Now I can’t grow one thanks to a whole bunch of radiation treatments to my throat. Hair’s still long though….

  9. Last time I shaved was 10/16/69, the day I left Okinawa for OAB and freedom. Met my now wife shortly after that, so she's never seen me without facial hair. It gets trimmed a couple of times a year, whether it needs it or not..

  10. Tried it a couple times. "After a while it'll stop itching," they said. It never stopped itching.

  11. I was buzzing what was left of my hair off and wearing a moustache and goatee long before it was fashionable. The only thing I've ever put on my facial hair after washing with whatever liquid soap I'm using at the time is Brylcreem.

  12. When I was late teen, early 20's, I wore my long hair parted in the middle; several folks called me JC because of my resemblance to common religious paintings. After my granddad died, I went to the funeral home for visitation. My Aunt Margie later told me she was knocked off her feet because she thought Jesus had walked through the front door.

  13. I just shave it to stubble with an electric trimmer a couple times a year

  14. I hate having a beard, I also hate having to shave.......
    I don't like having a moustache, I also don't like shaving my lip..........

  15. I can't stand the neck-beard thing, so I shave and trim about once a week. Otherwise I start looking a little rough. Keep my beard - solid gray - about a half inch long and it looks pretty decent. Didn't watch the video, but I just shampoo my beard with the same shit I use on my hair - basically whatever my wife buys for me and I use hers when I run out. Got a "beard kit" for Christmas and tried some of the oil once, never again.

    True story, when I first grew it out in my early 50's, I'd go to the grocery store or walmart and women would go out of their way to talk to me. Never happened before in my life but put a gray beard on me and all of a sudden I'm an (old) chick magnet. MILF island here I come - oh shit I'm still married. Ok, you can look ladies but don't touch.

  16. I shave only once every week or two weeks.
    But as you ask about beards...

    Back in the 80ties there was the British rubberdoll series "Spitting Image" and there ZZ Top appeared with "We`ve got beards". Now I have that song back in my head.
    Alex Lund

  17. Every early fall I let my goatee grow into a full beard , I say for deer hunting. But I hate shaving. After I got outta the service in 83 I didn't cut my hair or beard for a few years. Was riding my old chopper one day and saw an old lady in a car on the side of the road. I tapped on her window to make sure was ok. She locked her door and clutched her purse and slid across her drivers seat! I said Just checkin on you mam, to see if You need help. It was pretty funny. My buddy got a hold of my license one night while we were drinkin and drew a swastika on my forehead with a pen. I got pulled over for no turn signals on bike. That cop laughed and laughed. He was cool about the bike and license. I never knew my buddy did that. I just shaved my beard down again. My wife was happy, she said I look 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger HAHA . Went out to feed the chickens and came down steps to house, she was lookin out the window of her office, and told me later she was wondering WHO the hell was comin down the steps! I asked her if she wanted some "strange" Ha ha. Now Im bald and trimmed. I do miss both :( But come fall ,,,,,,,,, at least the beard comes back!

  18. Strange as it sounds, Dove soap is the answer to taming beards and the hair on top.

  19. Had a big bushy beard back in the 70's when I painted billboards out of New Orleans. Worked out in the "Bush" surrounded by swamps. Got home, had a hot shower, soaped myself up good. When out to dinner with my chick. In the middle of dinner, The biggest gypsy moth flew out of my beard and proceeded to fly around the table. Everybody in the restaurant watched it. Shaved it after that.

  20. Beards about a foot long at this point. I trim a 1/4 “ off regularly and it never gets caught in my stock.😉


All comments are moderated due to spam, drunks and trolls.
Keep 'em civil, coherent, short, and on topic.