Where bad choices make good stories
#10. That has been my bi-line for forty years.
#3 ~ Peppa was unresponsive but delicious!
#19 Boy, can I relate to that!
So can I brother, so can I.
All my mother would ever say is I'm not bailing you out of jail.
K. Be home for dinner.
The way you knew it was time to come home was when the porch light came on.
In the 1950s we went to the dump with our .410 shotguns to shoot seagulls, which are not that stupid so we didn't get many. Can you imagine how many swat teams would arrive if some 12 year olds did that now?
#10 I tried to tell my 3 yo daughter that we picked her up at WalMart. She proceeded to tell me that God had placed her in Mom's tummy. We were in the pickup and she placed her feet on the dash and explained the birthing process. I feared that she had been getting too much information from day care so I asked how she knew all that. She told me from the fat book. She showed it to me when we got home..."What To Expect When You Are Expecting". That book, with all its pictures and illustrations was quickly put up.
That just broke my interweb. Post of the day!
My daughter was 18 months old and I was 8 months pregnant with her brother. I liked watching a show on TV about birth and children under 2. The opening scenes of the show had a woman, draped very well, delivering a child and the doctor bringing the child up between her draped legs to show the camera. My daughter put a teddy bear under her shirt, told me,"Mommy, I am having a baby.", squatted down, grunted, and pulled the bear out from under her shirt. Kids do the darndest things.
Been to the moon. LOL
15, ok she got my attention, hahahahaha. Looks like shes ready to go too. Ken give her my email, will yah?
19 absolutely for the win…Klaus
#20. I snortedFrank G
#20, MOM said the garbage man left me. Thanks MOM.
#7. Of course there is a polite way to ask someone if their parents are first cousins:“Are your mom and dad from Alabama?”
#4, 1968, my Grandfather takes me and my little brother to his Barber to get out hair cut.I get the Buzz cut because that's the only style available at the time and when I get out of the chair, the Barber reaches over and grabs the booster seat for my little brother. I think he was maybe 3.The guy grabs my brother, picks him up and sits him in the seat, looks at him and asks, "What kind of haircut would you like today little man"?Kid looks at him without missing a beat, points to our Grandfather and says "I want one just like Grandpa's, with the hole in the middle".I'll never forget that because I thought that Barber was going to choke to death he was laughing so hard.
#1 is post of the year!!!!!!!!
Who is in #8?
That would be Kanye West and the fat ass Kardashians, I do believe.
If you do a deep dive into metrology, you'll find the US of A system is actually based on the metric system. Shocking, I know. I was in the 8th grade when the nuns tried to convert us to metric. It didn't take. My metric fluency is like my Spanish fluency: half-assed but enough to know when I effed-up.
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