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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Lorenzo and Valentín... or is it Valentin and Lorenzo?

WASHINGTON (TND) — A mother said she needed some help telling her identical twin sons apart, so she called the police.

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She should've saved herself a headache and did what I did when I got 5 pullets I couldn't tell apart. I just gave them all the same name. Holler at one, they all come running.

19 comments:

  1. George Foreman had the solution when he named all his sons George Edward Foreman.

    Personally I'd just tattoo their names on their foreheads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Q: What did George Sr. do when one of his five sons got into trouble and he wanted to get the truth out of him?

      A: He grilled him.

      Delete
    2. I knew one lazy bitch who named all her kids Pat so she only had to Hollar once.
      If she wanted a specific kid she used their last name.

      Delete
  2. “But what if you want to call one individually? I use their last name.”

    ReplyDelete
  3. My brother and I were 3 years apart and didn't look anything like each other. Yet Mom would call us by the other's name constantly. We still knew who she was addressing and why.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mom just started reciting all our names while getting the whipping stick ready. And she knew how to fight dirty as she played women's field hockey back in the day.

      Delete
  4. I've got 5 brothers and I think my mom got our names right 3 times in her entire life. Believe me, we all knew who was pissing her off at the moment and it didn't matter who's name she was babbling in a fit of rage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My son complains that my mother in law calls him by his sisters names, her brothers name, her dead sons name and occassionally the dogs name. Being a teen he just pretends he doesnt hear her till she gets it right... even when he knows she's talking to him.

      Exile1981

      Delete
  5. I don't see the problem. Parents always start a roll call of all of their kid's names when calling for any one of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Welfare Queen with 9 children gave them all the same first name. When asked why, she said it was just easier - "When I call them to supper, I just call one name, and they all come running. When it's bedtime, just one name, they all come." But what if she just wants one particular kid? "Oh, that's easy - I just use the last name."

      Delete
  6. I had a girlfriend who would go through all the male names in her family; brothers, cousin, brother in law, ex husband, and former boyfriends before she would get to mine. It was more cute and endearing than insulting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I too have 11 chickens I cannot tell apart and they are all named Ricky.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My ex-wife made it simple, she'd just yell cone here you little shit.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am a twin and thought my name was "MikeMark" and middle name "Whicheveroneyouare"

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Goddammit get in here" - "But Dad, I thought I was Jesus Christ"

    ReplyDelete
  11. My mom called my brother and I Sam because she could never get our names right. I don't know where it came from, but it worked. She did it for decades...

    ReplyDelete
  12. My youngest brother is ten years older than me. My eldest is nineteen years older. In school I was called by all four of my brothers names, my two younger sisters names, and at least three cousin's names.
    My grade school principal had my mom his first year teaching, and me his last. I guess I should be grateful he forgot my two oldest sister's names.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their Mon only carries one photo of Juan, because it you've seen Juan you've seen Amal

    ReplyDelete

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