9) I call it a "timeline error" when someone wanted to have sex with somebody recently enough for them to have kid as young as the one they have. 17) I submit for consideration a spa/fitness center right next to my favorite BBQ joint.
#13 A co-worker had Dial-A-Prayer's number memorized so well she could recite it after a few drinks. Many lounge lizards went home thinking they'd hit the jackpot.
#16 is a fair description of my first marriage and I can almost certainly guarantee I'm a lot happier than whoever's stuck with her now, the poor schmuck.
I was pretty well acquainted with the guy that married my ex and actually liked him. When I found out they'd gotten together, all I could think was "Poor Keith, if only you had talked to me first."
My ex ended up married to the guy she cheated with. He actually showed up at my work and threatened me 'if i tried to win her back'. I told him she's your mistake now. She was had called me to try and reconcile a few days before... told her zero chance.
Then i sent him a card thanking him after the divorce was final.
I'm with Wirecutter. My ex was a bit of a party girl but did marry a decent bloke at the end. Poor bastard has prostrate cancer which isn't playing nice at all. Apart from a smidgen of sympathy for him over that I have felt nothing for them since I got traded. I'd like to reject her but she'll never come crawling back. Current wife is vastly better and younger as well although not as financially smart. I'm happy with the balance.
#19) Scissors win every time
ReplyDelete9) I call it a "timeline error" when someone wanted to have sex with somebody recently enough for them to have kid as young as the one they have.
ReplyDelete17) I submit for consideration a spa/fitness center right next to my favorite BBQ joint.
#13 A co-worker had Dial-A-Prayer's number memorized so well she could recite it after a few drinks. Many lounge lizards went home thinking they'd hit the jackpot.
ReplyDeleteI used to have the rejection hotline number memorized.
Delete#16 is a fair description of my first marriage and I can almost certainly guarantee I'm a lot happier than whoever's stuck with her now, the poor schmuck.
ReplyDeleteI was pretty well acquainted with the guy that married my ex and actually liked him. When I found out they'd gotten together, all I could think was "Poor Keith, if only you had talked to me first."
DeleteMy ex ended up married to the guy she cheated with. He actually showed up at my work and threatened me 'if i tried to win her back'. I told him she's your mistake now. She was had called me to try and reconcile a few days before... told her zero chance.
DeleteThen i sent him a card thanking him after the divorce was final.
Exile1981
I'm with Wirecutter. My ex was a bit of a party girl but did marry a decent bloke at the end. Poor bastard has prostrate cancer which isn't playing nice at all. Apart from a smidgen of sympathy for him over that I have felt nothing for them since I got traded. I'd like to reject her but she'll never come crawling back.
DeleteCurrent wife is vastly better and younger as well although not as financially smart. I'm happy with the balance.
#1 That's me and my named aint even Elmer. The Anthem, the Taps, the Flag all have deep meaning to me.
ReplyDeleteA shame that people think it's only white people.
Delete#11 My wife says this is wrong. Ribs can deflect a blade, so it should be “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach and up”.
ReplyDeleteJFM
#10 - that's incorrect, but you do have to drink a whole lot so that you have enough bottles.
ReplyDeleteWhere can I buy a "too high to care" bear? Gonna need a couple in time for christmas.
ReplyDeleteEtsy has some. https://www.etsy.com/market/weed_care_bear
Delete#10: I feel like this is a phase people go through. Usually before you're out of school.
ReplyDelete