I know what you mean. My Dad died almost 20 years ago and I still have all his stuff. I can't bring myself to get rid of it. It's funny. My own memories I can dump no problem. But not his.
My mother passed I'm '04, dad in '07. There's still one corner of my basement that's chock full of their stuff. Can't bring myself to even g o through it, much less toss it.
My last divorce was one of the worst life events I have had in my 65 years. I was this gals 4th husband. Is there some switch in the female head that goes off turning them into pure evil? The level of petty acts, the unhinged behavior, the lies, the destruction of property, the mistreatment of domesticated animals, you get the picture. It’s funny I still love the gal that I married. The one I left, meh not so much.
"Is there some switch..."? Emotional wounds, unlike physical wounds, do not heal by themselves. Unprocessed emotional trauma is commonly referred to as "baggage".
Unresolved emotional trauma can and will affect your health and your behavior in negative ways. As the saying goes, hurting people hurt people. In women, unresolved emotional trauma often causes them to overreact and/or act out (e.g. bat-shit crazy behavior). In men emotional trauma often causes them to shut down or check out (e.g. avoid, ignore, focus on work, MGTOW, etc)
In order to be healed of emotional wounds you must actively search for the trauma, identify the negative feelings involved, understand the root cause(s), and process the negative emotions in a healthy way. A good counselor can help a person do this. But first the person must be willing to face their pain, accept their own faults and bad behaviors that contributed to the problem, and forgive the people who hurt them. Forgiveness, both asking for and giving, is the most important part in the healing process.
So often people quit going to counseling when they find out they are part of the problem and they are unwilling to forgive and change their bad behavior.
The net result is that the more failed relationships someone has been in the more unhealed emotional damage they have. They carry that into every new relationship.
For what ever reason they are there it is good they left them so someone can salvage the frames. My wife is an artist and has found many very expensive frames at dumps. She is the real deal. Works mainly in oil and has had private shows at various institutions. She loves a show but hates the meet the artist sessions. It's pretty much due to this that she does not do shows anymore.
Clearly a woman doing this. It's how their evil souls roll. SIL has a collection of photos of her ex-husband with his eyes gouged out in each shot. Displays them proudly in her sad, little apartment. She refuses to acknowledge that her life ceased moving forward when they divorced and insists that she is "over him". Uh huh, yep, sure thing, sweetcheeks. Might wanta clean that litterbox a little more often...
Tapping helps me. Emotional Freedom Technique is a sequence of structured tapping on my head, face, and upper body while repeating a statement about something bothering me. . I like the work of Brad Yates: https://youtu.be/5oAKI-K4u8U
My ex did worse than this.
ReplyDeletePetty & vindictive. To do that tells much of they who did it. They could have hidden the pics in the trash instead of creating the drama.
The dumpster is full.
DeleteThere's some finality there...
ReplyDeleteBecause, somewhere, there's somebody tired of her shit.
Fjb
Bye bye Love ...
ReplyDeleteYou know that the honeymoon's over,
DeleteAnd love is a faded flower,
When she comes in to take a shit,
While you are in the shower.
Ya know, it happens that way.
ReplyDeleteDad died last year, I got to clean the house out. The memories I had to take to the dump... heartbreaking.
I still have my parents old photos stored in my basement. When I go some one will shovel several generations of mementos into the trash.
DeleteI know what you mean. My Dad died almost 20 years ago and I still have all his stuff. I can't bring myself to get rid of it.
DeleteIt's funny. My own memories I can dump no problem. But not his.
I had to go thru my mother's photos, if they are unlabeled they are just random photos rather than a name you can put to a face.
Delete"The memories I had to take to the dump... heartbreaking."
DeleteFor me it wasn't getting rid of all the stuff, it was standing in the house where I grew up when everything was gone and it was totally empty.
My mother passed I'm '04, dad in '07. There's still one corner of my basement that's chock full of their stuff. Can't bring myself to even g o through it, much less toss it.
DeleteOut, out, brief candle!
ReplyDeleteLife's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more:
My last divorce was one of the worst life events I have had in my 65 years. I was this gals 4th husband.
ReplyDeleteIs there some switch in the female head that goes off turning them into pure evil? The level of petty acts, the unhinged behavior, the lies, the destruction of property, the mistreatment of domesticated animals, you get the picture.
It’s funny I still love the gal that I married. The one I left, meh not so much.
Sorry, but 3 previous marriages was your clue.
DeleteA buddy wanted to marry a gal. I strongly advised no. Twenty-nine yrs old and she had already been married, and divorced, thrice.
Those of you that have fond memories of your parents & family are to be envied.
DeleteAppreciate that you have those sorrows.
@Saber 7
Delete"Is there some switch..."? Emotional wounds, unlike physical wounds, do not heal by themselves. Unprocessed emotional trauma is commonly referred to as "baggage".
Unresolved emotional trauma can and will affect your health and your behavior in negative ways. As the saying goes, hurting people hurt people. In women, unresolved emotional trauma often causes them to overreact and/or act out (e.g. bat-shit crazy behavior). In men emotional trauma often causes them to shut down or check out (e.g. avoid, ignore, focus on work, MGTOW, etc)
In order to be healed of emotional wounds you must actively search for the trauma, identify the negative feelings involved, understand the root cause(s), and process the negative emotions in a healthy way. A good counselor can help a person do this. But first the person must be willing to face their pain, accept their own faults and bad behaviors that contributed to the problem, and forgive the people who hurt them. Forgiveness, both asking for and giving, is the most important part in the healing process.
So often people quit going to counseling when they find out they are part of the problem and they are unwilling to forgive and change their bad behavior.
The net result is that the more failed relationships someone has been in the more unhealed emotional damage they have. They carry that into every new relationship.
-Outlier
For what ever reason they are there it is good they left them so someone can salvage the frames. My wife is an artist and has found many very expensive frames at dumps. She is the real deal. Works mainly in oil and has had private shows at various institutions. She loves a show but hates the meet the artist sessions. It's pretty much due to this that she does not do shows anymore.
ReplyDeleteClearly a woman doing this. It's how their evil souls roll. SIL has a collection of photos of her ex-husband with his eyes gouged out in each shot. Displays them proudly in her sad, little apartment. She refuses to acknowledge that her life ceased moving forward when they divorced and insists that she is "over him". Uh huh, yep, sure thing, sweetcheeks. Might wanta clean that litterbox a little more often...
ReplyDeleteTapping helps me.
ReplyDeleteEmotional Freedom Technique is a sequence of structured tapping on my head, face, and upper body while repeating a statement about something bothering me.
.
I like the work of Brad Yates:
https://youtu.be/5oAKI-K4u8U