#8 - Woman, you are 9 dangs, 19 yups, 5 wows and 7 man, that's crazys of a better person than I am. #16 - Attendance at my ten year reunion: 300. Attendance at my twenty year reunion: 40. Not kidding. #18 - Come to think of it, I've never seen Casper and Richie Rich in the same room at the same time. Makes ya go hmm...
#7 I can imagine the conversation. "I said I've hit a ghost" "There's no such thing as a ghost" "Yes there is, Rolls-Royce make them" "Oh fuck"
Looks like a Rolls-Royce Ghost which has a base price of $400,000. Repairing the fender on the Rolls will cost more than buying a new mini-van. Al_in_Ottawa
I believe that the application of one of those onto the hangers of a bull will cause them to drop off, making he into an it, also known as a steer. That Cheerio is in fact a very strong rubber band, that the tool is used to stretch and apply. I helped a farmer friend once during the middle of a snowstorm, with one of his newborn cattle in the middle of the field. He did that, gave him a shot of penicillin, and put a tag in it's ear. My job was to keep momma away. She was not happy, but didn't cause any trouble.
The tool is called an elastrator. It spreads the rubber band, which is then placed on the calf's nutsack between its body and its testicles. It cuts off blood flow to the balls and in 2 to 3 weeks the dried-up sack falls off and your bull calf has officially become a steer. It's a very humane, bloodless procedure and generally when the treated calf pairs up with his Mom he's feeling fine and doesn't even know or care what just happened to him.
The shot you give the calf is tetanus anti-toxin, not penicillin. That's tetanus anti-toxin, not tetanus. Very important difference.
I've always believed elastration should be an option when sentencing human sex offenders. But unfortunately, I don't run the American judicial system.
I only figure it out by looking at the operation of the tool and the position that the four prongs would be when the handles were squeezed. Then, I remembered my father telling me how they castrated the piglets on their backwood country farm with rubber bands.
There was a half-grown (about 500 pound) beef calf that started knocking my Dad around. That's when Dad realized that the rubber band must have fallen off, and we had a bull calf instead of a steer calf. So he took the calf to the butcher, and came back with a lot of neatly wrapped beef. It tasted great!
But we had to make up a story for my little sisters about the calf getting sick and going to a rest home...
Once, when I practiced, we had a genius bring in his hound dog that he had placed an elastrator on to save money on neutering. Thing about elastrators is they work well on cattle but NOT on canines. I have never seen such an infected mess in my life. One emergency surgery and 3 planned ones over the next 4 months later the dog was okay. Dude certainly found out that "shortcuts aren't always cheaper". IIRC (25 years ago) his bill was in the 1500-1750 range and he's lucky we didn't call law enforcement.
#2 Raised goats and banded the Billys. One day daughter picked up a furry pair that had finally fallen off. Look daddy, a rabbits foot. Let's just say she was traumatized
#14 - I proposed some time ago that if a turn is made prior to the turn signal having been activated and flashing a minimum of 4 times the ignition module self-destructs. Someone commented that if that ever became a thing, he would immediately invest in BMW ignition parts.
#5 There's used to be a group old ladies at my grocery store that would stop to chat for several minutes at a time seemingly unaware that they were impeding the progress of other shoppers until I impolitely told them to shoot the shit on someone else's time.
No. 2 wins!🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteAgreed!
Delete#13 - someone forgot to edit out her eyebrows and eye lashes.
ReplyDelete#20 - missing lugnuts....nice touch.
#2 - for the win!!!
#8 - Woman, you are 9 dangs, 19 yups, 5 wows and 7 man, that's crazys of a better person than I am.
ReplyDelete#16 - Attendance at my ten year reunion: 300. Attendance at my twenty year reunion: 40. Not kidding.
#18 - Come to think of it, I've never seen Casper and Richie Rich in the same room at the same time. Makes ya go hmm...
#6 Tree rats aside. Now lets talk about internal contusions and gerbils Capt. Kirk.
ReplyDeleteWonder how many don't understand?
ReplyDelete#7 I can imagine the conversation.
ReplyDelete"I said I've hit a ghost"
"There's no such thing as a ghost"
"Yes there is, Rolls-Royce make them"
"Oh fuck"
Looks like a Rolls-Royce Ghost which has a base price of $400,000. Repairing the fender on the Rolls will cost more than buying a new mini-van.
Al_in_Ottawa
Ok, I give up what’s the pink cheerio challenge?
ReplyDeleteMadMarlin
I believe that the application of one of those onto the hangers of a bull will cause them to drop off, making he into an it, also known as a steer. That Cheerio is in fact a very strong rubber band, that the tool is used to stretch and apply.
DeleteI helped a farmer friend once during the middle of a snowstorm, with one of his newborn cattle in the middle of the field. He did that, gave him a shot of penicillin, and put a tag in it's ear. My job was to keep momma away. She was not happy, but didn't cause any trouble.
The tool is called an elastrator. It spreads the rubber band, which is then placed on the calf's nutsack between its body and its testicles. It cuts off blood flow to the balls and in 2 to 3 weeks the dried-up sack falls off and your bull calf has officially become a steer. It's a very humane, bloodless procedure and generally when the treated calf pairs up with his Mom he's feeling fine and doesn't even know or care what just happened to him.
DeleteThe shot you give the calf is tetanus anti-toxin, not penicillin. That's tetanus anti-toxin, not tetanus. Very important difference.
I've always believed elastration should be an option when sentencing human sex offenders. But unfortunately, I don't run the American judicial system.
I only figure it out by looking at the operation of the tool and the position that the four prongs would be when the handles were squeezed. Then, I remembered my father telling me how they castrated the piglets on their backwood country farm with rubber bands.
DeleteThen, "Tractor Porn" made sense.
Also used to choke off hemorrhoids. Ask me how I know.
DeleteThere was a half-grown (about 500 pound) beef calf that started knocking my Dad around. That's when Dad realized that the rubber band must have fallen off, and we had a bull calf instead of a steer calf. So he took the calf to the butcher, and came back with a lot of neatly wrapped beef. It tasted great!
DeleteBut we had to make up a story for my little sisters about the calf getting sick and going to a rest home...
Elmo, you'd need a larger tool to get it over the pedo's head and ears.
DeleteOnce, when I practiced, we had a genius bring in his hound dog that he had placed an elastrator on to save money on neutering. Thing about elastrators is they work well on cattle but NOT on canines. I have never seen such an infected mess in my life. One emergency surgery and 3 planned ones over the next 4 months later the dog was okay. Dude certainly found out that "shortcuts aren't always cheaper". IIRC (25 years ago) his bill was in the 1500-1750 range and he's lucky we didn't call law enforcement.
Delete#13 is WRONG and HATEFUL and OFFENSIVE and I LURVES IT TO PEECES.
ReplyDelete#2 Raised goats and banded the Billys. One day daughter picked up a furry pair that had finally fallen off. Look daddy, a rabbits foot. Let's just say she was traumatized
ReplyDelete#9 Listening to Pink Floyd's, Wish You Were Here, side 2. Suddenly didn't seem funny.
ReplyDelete#14 - I proposed some time ago that if a turn is made prior to the turn signal having been activated and flashing a minimum of 4 times the ignition module self-destructs. Someone commented that if that ever became a thing, he would immediately invest in BMW ignition parts.
ReplyDelete#5 There's used to be a group old ladies at my grocery store that would stop to chat for several minutes at a time seemingly unaware that they were impeding the progress of other shoppers until I impolitely told them to shoot the shit on someone else's time.
ReplyDeleteNemo
Number four is on my fridge with your picture you signed Kenny. Todd in Denver
ReplyDelete