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Monday, August 07, 2023

Pro tip: Big Fucking Hammer

PHOENIX -- A Peoria, Arizona man says he was trapped in his Tesla in the extreme heat after the power died and he didn't know how to escape. 

The ABC15 Investigators found dozens of drivers have filed complaints with federal auto safety regulators who are urging car owners to learn how to manually get out in an emergency.

24 comments:

  1. Another case crying out for ejection seats as standard equipment on all vehicles.

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  2. An AZ car has to replace the battery every 2-3 years due to the extreme summer temps. Heat kills lead acid batteries. And people like hi-tech solutions to a low-tech problems (e.g. opening a door) until it no longer works. So far as reading the manual my last vehicle came with several books and 100's of pages. When I need to I pull it out of the glove compartment and look something up. Sounds like one cannot even do that in a broken Tesla.

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  3. which is clearly outlined in Tesla's manual,

    The manual for my 2019 F-150 is over an inch thick. Nobody wants to read that much for something that's basic purpose is to get you from point A to point B.

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  4. I hate to admit it, but my son had a '92 Firebird that he used to rear-end another car. I was driving it home from the body shop when it just died at a red light. I sat there for a number of seconds wondering how I was going to get out of it. It was locked and the power lock button didn't work. Then, of course, I remembered that just pulling the handle unlocked the door. My POV at the time was an S-10 pickup with manual everything. That's my excuse. The bodyshop hadn't tightened the battery clamps and one had just come off. I didn't even have to call AAA.

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  5. Another pro tip: RTFM!! These people can't be arsed to do that, so will probably sue, and the ignorant juries and judges will probably award damages. Damned pity. Stupid should hurt: it's the only crime in nature punishable by death.

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  6. Better Pro Tip...Don't buy a damn Tesla or any other electric cars.

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  7. Nah. Let mother nature and Darwin handle this.

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  8. A feature, not a flaw.
    How's Neuralink coming along?

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  9. Half a mag of 9mm or one .45 will do it too.

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  10. After working in a new car dealership for too many years, all I can say is... Read the fucking owners manual for your new car like a book. Many "problems" will be solved.

    Reading is fundamental. Comprehension is also under-rated.

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  11. I am so old I remember when there was only the manual way to get out of a car. Those electric toys you can drive are a ton of fun until it needs to be charged or replace the battery. Any vehicle I buy in the future will be a old enough that the electronics could cause trouble but it is still usable.

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  12. The time of expensive stupid is upon us. Go forth with common sense and make yourself rich. Stupid will pay someone a lot of money to let them out of their car it might as well be you.

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  13. Is that like getting stuck on a broken escalator? Isn't there a manual door handle?

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    Replies
    1. There is for the front doors, but it's hidden. 'Tesla's Model Y has a manual release latch in the front seat located underneath the door handle, but the passenger manual release is harder to find. A passenger must remove the mat from the rear door pocket and press a red tab to get out in an emergency. Tesla's manual also notes "Not all Model Y vehicles are equipped with a manual release for the rear doors."'

      I would probably find the driver's front door latch in a couple of minutes - but unless the manual is horribly misorganized I'd already know from skimming through it when I bought the car (not that I'd buy a battery-powered car) - but apparently the only way to find the passenger side door latch, if it has one, is to read the manual. How often have you read the manual for a car in which you are a passenger? What would usually happen, at least for people of normal intelligence (but we're talking about Tesla owners here) is that the driver would eventually find the manual latch underneath the electric door handle, and all the passengers would scramble over the seats to the driver's door.

      Then I think of my wife - she's too fat and old to scramble over from the passenger seat, _or_ to do the contortions to reach the passenger door release.

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  14. Big Fuckin Hammer. Always had them on the job commonly referred to as the BMF. Big Mother Fucker. In my neck of the wood any job someone ask for the BMF all knew what ya wanted.

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  15. Every Tesla has a manual release for the doors, but if you are a moron, you can be trapped in a cardboard box apparently..

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  16. Corvettes since 2005 have had an electric door release. There's a manual latch release on the floor by the door. Few years back a guy and his dog died from heat when he couldn't open the door. Feel sorry for the dog.

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    Replies
    1. Dog had a dumbass owner. Windshields are surprisingly easy to kick out from the inside.

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  17. Per the article, this Mensa alum was able to call his sister, so he had a working phone. Since he is driving a Testicle, I assume he had a smart phone and not something basic. I would also guess the sister had internet access of some form or the other. In less than 30 seconds I was able to Google "Tesla emergency door release" and got the answer. It concerns me that stupid sons-a-bitches like this share the road with me, consume oxygen and vote.

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  18. These power locks cause trouble at the other end too. I keep a set of jumper cables in my car. If, as has happened, I have a locked car and a dead battery, there is no way to open the back hatch to get to the cables. I just bought a car from my daughter because she moved to Denmark and can't find a way to even open the hatch from the inside provided I can get back there after using the key to open the drivers door. Brilliant design,

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  19. I have a Kia Sorento. It has this amazing feature where even if the battery is dead, I can just pull on a handle and the door will open, and unlocking is handled similarly.

    That's not to say it doesn't come with some grade A bullshit. If the battery is dying, the steering wheel tends to lock up. Happened to me when I was in the middle of a turn, and it was frightening. If I had been in the mountains I probably would have gone over the edge somewhere.

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  20. I would view this as a convenient Darwinian filter. If you're too stupid to figure out how to exit the vehicle when the power dies it's best for society if you are removed from society... permanently.

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  21. It's really quite easy every Tesla front door has a manual release right in front of the power window switch or at least it does on the Model Y. This is only to use in the unlikely event that there is no power. Tesla sends you email directing you to a webinar that explains all the functions of your specific model of car as soon as you order one. In addition to the online education, employees from Tesla will show you all you need to know in person at the time delivery. The reason they are electric push button doors is because in addition to opening the latch the window will drop down about 1 inch when you open the door. This makes the car more aerodynamic and the window stronger when closed as the top edge slides into a shallow groove on the roof. You can open the door without power but the top edge of the glass will kind of pop out that groove and it could cause some scratches to the glass or the roof. I just got my Model Y in June and already have over 2000 miles on it and I love it. The Y comes in 3 trim levels, all have dual motor all wheel drive: Base version has a range of 279 miles all and 0 to 60 time of 5 seconds cost $47,740(MSRP) the "Long range" version has a bigger battery and a range of 330 miles, 0 to 60 time is 4.8 seconds cost $50,490. And mine is the "Performance" version which has the same bigger long range battery but with more acceleration and speed so has a lower range of 303 miles. The 0 to 60 is screaming fast at 3.5 seconds and with better brakes, 21" wheels and tires, lowered suspension, track mode, and higher top speed of 155mph it will set you back $54,490 plus destination, taxes plates etc. All Model Y Teslas qualify for a $7,500 tax credit.(your income must be high enough to pay $7,500 in federal income taxes to fully use the tax credit and your income for married filing jointly must be less than 300K to qualify) I did not buy this car to save the earth. I bought it for the better utility of a 5 passenger AWD hatchback SUV but with sports car handling and instant acceleration, 111MPGe, 0 to 60 time of 3.5 seconds and it never breaks a wheel loose. That makes it 1.5 seconds faster, rides better and handles curves better than my 99 Corvette convertible that has a 0-60 time of 5 seconds, is only 2 wheel drive, and rides like a lumber truck.

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  22. That's what this tool is for. https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-Emergency-Cutter-Window-Accessories/dp/B073JCMTW2/ref=sr_1_6?crid=RLV157FZUPVM&keywords=car+window+breaker&qid=1691495769&sprefix=car+window+%2Caps%2C173&sr=8-6

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