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Tuesday, August 15, 2023

The shit I have to wade through to entertain you

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29 comments:

  1. #1.....doesn't come with a Mute button either

    and the volume control is pretty dicey too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It only comes in black and white....

      Delete
    2. But dat 70" booty, tho...

      Delete
  2. All right. Identify the person in #20. Is that:
    a. Jill Biden
    b. Nanny Pelosi
    c. Liz Warren
    d. Bill Gates
    e. Any of the above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cameltoe Harris, Lizzie Warren, or Raggedy Anne the press secretary.

      Delete
    2. You mean AOC the economics guru didn't make the cut?

      Delete
    3. E plus a shitload of others.

      Delete
  3. #7 I sure get that one. That's the way an ass is supposed to look.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But, denim jeans'll do that.

      Delete
    2. Yup, I never bought a ticket on the bubble butt buss. They should be proportional, not like they were plugged into an air compressor until they were 3 times the max inflation pressure rating. Maybe the complaints are coming from a quadrant where their genetics don't support this.

      Delete
    3. #7. That is how a nice ass is supposed to look.

      Delete
  4. Wirecutter, this list is one of your best. #13 if I had a neighbor that was like that, if I couldn't catch birds, I might have to resort to sneaking over in the middle of the night and doing the job myself.
    At the age of 63 I still love hot young women, but unless they knock on my door, I don't have the stamina to chase them. And the only time a hot young woman would knock on my door is to ask if I have seen her dog. Besides, my wife is understanding but not THAT understanding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My father said if you need to chase em they ain't worth catching.

      Delete
    2. The chase is always the best part. Especially when you find out they're married, or more often than not, insane.

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    3. I used my rider to cut the grass for the single woman behind me until the time I couldn’t and I see her in shorts pushing her mower up the hill. It was then I realized how I screwed up all these months by playing nice guy.

      Delete
  5. #17 a flathead screwdriver is a chisel or small pry bar, a phillips head screwdriver is a punch, and pliers are a small hammer. At least they are when you are at the far end of an attic or crawl space and that is all you have with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. #11 If it were Monday, the head gasket would be discovered after the engine had been installed in the customer's car.

    ReplyDelete
  7. #11. I did a clutch on a 4WD '80s Kia piece of shit of some sort. Exhaust was even hung. It was fucking done. Was cleaning up tools & putting them away when I came across the spacer plate for the flywheel bolts.

    ReplyDelete
  8. #3: I gave up beer for breakfast a while back. Now it's cornflakes with a copious splash of Vodka.

    #12: I can relate to that except squirrels it's kids

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fellow bouncer at the kiddie bar we worked at back in the 80s used to claim he lived on Jack Daniel's and Cocoa Puffs. Never saw any reason to doubt him.

      Delete
  9. 19 - I refer you to "Shoes of the Fisherman"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Vodka & Fruit Loops

    ReplyDelete
  11. 7. That's because it IS a nice ass.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Is #20 Petey McButtplug's sister? Or scriptwriter?

    ReplyDelete
  13. #11 - It could be much much worse. Talk to any A&P Mechanic who bears the psychological scars from having changed the tach generator on a Garrett/AirResearch TPE-331 Turboprop engine. Four 1/4" 12 points nuts and one electric connector. Nothing to it. 8 hours minimum if everything goes right.

    ReplyDelete
  14. #1 I would probably fuck that

    ReplyDelete
  15. 5) my boss "wow you got that done fast! good job!"
    me "we don't fuck around over here we get shit done!"
    my boss"that's not appropriate language"
    me "I speak fluent sailor. do you tell pedro over there that his spanish isn't appropriate? or just my people?"

    ReplyDelete
  16. #7, it is a nice ass and it's not so big that you need a rag on a stick to wipe it either.
    - WDS

    ReplyDelete

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