Been there. The solution is to use an old fashioned bottle opener - the kind with a pointed end. We used to call them "Church Keys" for reasons I never knew.
I got so fed up repairing the drywall on our half turn stair landing that I replaced the lower 4 feet with plywood and put up wainscoting and a chair rail on all 3 sides. Never had to do that job again.
Been there with you neighbor; I've been vomited upon, peed upon and shat upon by both kids, twice in one day, and they weren't sick, just babies being babies.
It's a rite of passage for dads. After the first time, it doesn't bother you. Goes with the territory. That and catching puke in your hands so it doesn't get on the bed.
I quickly learned to leave the bottle a little cool. Too warm and I was wearing it. I also quit putting on a robe for early morning feedings. Get up, knock the chill off the formula, change the kid, feed the kid, clean the kid if necessary, put the kid back in the crib, shower if need be, and go back to sleep.
While we were in the hospital with my youngest, I was changing him when he managed to pee on me. The OB was there at the time, and laughed and said "Well, now you're officially a father."
#8 When I was working construction,end of the day Friday was always the big cleanup on remodel jobs .I had a shopvac pearched at the top of the stairs head down the stairs, it punched a six inch hole through the wall. Luckily the owners were away in their other house.Threw a smart patch on and mudded it over, no one ever knew. The drywall compound was a perfect color match to the wall paint.
#7: Yep, the hose should handle that just fine. #9: Hopefully it's just a reflection, but if those lights are on, RIP whoever's in there. What a horrible way to go. #10: Used to happen to me fairly often. Nothing a tap with a kitchen knife can't fix. I haven't touched pop in 20 years though, I already have enough ways to poison myself.
#8 Been there. Done that. First time I realized "No, you can't move a mattress by yourself any more." On the bright side. Once I patched it you couldn't tell there had been any damage. Dad taught me well.
#10 FWIW that used to happen a lot on Pop Tab cans. One reason I don't buy them if I can help it.
ReplyDeleteBeen there. The solution is to use an old fashioned bottle opener - the kind with a pointed end. We used to call them "Church Keys" for reasons I never knew.
Deletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_key
DeleteBecause some versions kinda sorta look like a key.
Nothing to do with what they look like, and obviously used ironically - since they were used to open beer cans (and the occasional bottle.)
DeleteCalled a church key bc if you used it too many times, you'd meet God.
DeleteJus makin shit up but sounded good in my head
ch
I got so fed up repairing the drywall on our half turn stair landing that I replaced the lower 4 feet with plywood and put up wainscoting and a chair rail on all 3 sides. Never had to do that job again.
ReplyDelete# 5. Save the pie
ReplyDeleteJD
Everybody grab a fork!
Delete#6: I’ve been to the formula baptismal fountain before. However I'm not sure which end's contents I prefer.
ReplyDeleteBeen there with you neighbor; I've been vomited upon, peed upon and shat upon by both kids, twice in one day, and they weren't sick, just babies being babies.
DeleteEvery daddy that stuck around has probably been through that
DeleteDaryl
It's a rite of passage for dads. After the first time, it doesn't bother you. Goes with the territory. That and catching puke in your hands so it doesn't get on the bed.
DeleteI quickly learned to leave the bottle a little cool. Too warm and I was wearing it. I also quit putting on a robe for early morning feedings. Get up, knock the chill off the formula, change the kid, feed the kid, clean the kid if necessary, put the kid back in the crib, shower if need be, and go back to sleep.
DeleteWhile we were in the hospital with my youngest, I was changing him when he managed to pee on me. The OB was there at the time, and laughed and said "Well, now you're officially a father."
Delete#1, #4: "Of course it won't start. Ya flooded it."
ReplyDelete#6 God, I hate banana pudding all over the top of my head.
ReplyDelete#9 What's going on here?
ReplyDeleteLucky driver found the sink hole.
Delete#8 When I was working construction,end of the day Friday was always the big cleanup on remodel jobs .I had a shopvac pearched at the top of the stairs head down the stairs, it punched a six inch hole through the wall. Luckily the owners were away in their other house.Threw a smart patch on and mudded it over, no one ever knew. The drywall compound was a perfect color match to the wall paint.
ReplyDelete#7: Yep, the hose should handle that just fine.
ReplyDelete#9: Hopefully it's just a reflection, but if those lights are on, RIP whoever's in there. What a horrible way to go.
#10: Used to happen to me fairly often. Nothing a tap with a kitchen knife can't fix. I haven't touched pop in 20 years though, I already have enough ways to poison myself.
#8 Been there. Done that. First time I realized "No, you can't move a mattress by yourself any more." On the bright side. Once I patched it you couldn't tell there had been any damage. Dad taught me well.
ReplyDelete#2: whomever should be damn glad they got into a prickly pear instead of a cholla.
ReplyDelete