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Tuesday, November 21, 2023

Your Tuesday Morning Florida Report

NOVEMBER 16--In the long, storied history of American jurisprudence, these words have never previously appeared in a police report or court filing: 

“The defendant was observed defecating on a deceased opossum with his pants lowered and his anal region exposed.”
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7 comments:

  1. waitingForTheStormNovember 21, 2023 at 5:23 AM

    I can believe that these words have never appeared on a police report, because most people do their possum pooping in more private settings; I know I do. Seriously, though, WTF is going on nowadays, anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 21, 2023 at 6:19 AM

    They are not sending their best....

    ReplyDelete
  3. bogsidebunnyNovember 21, 2023 at 8:34 AM

    Maybe he thought the dead possum was in fact a live gerbil and was using the poop as a stairway to rectum.

    ReplyDelete
  4. GeneNovember 21, 2023 at 11:07 AM

    Never saw a possum wearing pants.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ghostsniperNovember 21, 2023 at 11:30 AM

    Didja read the affidavit?
    The charge was: Exposure of Sexual Organs
    The officer said: "...anal region exposed."
    So, anal region is a sexual organ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wirecutterNovember 21, 2023 at 12:19 PM

      I don't know about Florida but it is in San Francisco.

      Delete
  6. AnonymousNovember 21, 2023 at 8:09 PM

    Damn Jimmy Joe Bob, what did lil Percy ever do to you?

    ReplyDelete

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