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Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Your Wednesday Morning Florida Report

A Florida pensioner threw a package of Oreos at his wife, causing the 75-year-old victim to fall to the ground, according to cops who arrested the man on a felony battery charge.

9 comments:

  1. What the hell makes this a felony? We're the cookies double stuffed or something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Assault with a weapon. Although I think can vegetables would have been more effective.

      Delete
    2. Assault on the elderly. It is a thing.

      And since this was "domestic violence," someone had to be arrested, again, it's the law.

      Delete
  2. Cookie monster. Throw the cookbook at him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Must have been those high capacity double stuff assault oreos...
    Sedition

    ReplyDelete
  4. that's the way the cookie crumbles.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How about this Florida woman, found via Mojave Man on Gab?:

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/11/28/florida-woman-stabs-boyfriend-eye-rabies-needle/71726924007/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wait, there's two sides to every cookie..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Four or five if you count breaking an oreo apart and eating the stuffing first.

      Delete

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