A Florida pensioner threw a package of Oreos at his wife, causing the 75-year-old victim to fall to the ground, according to cops who arrested the man on a felony battery charge.
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What the hell makes this a felony? We're the cookies double stuffed or something?
ReplyDeleteAssault with a weapon. Although I think can vegetables would have been more effective.
DeleteAssault on the elderly. It is a thing.
DeleteAnd since this was "domestic violence," someone had to be arrested, again, it's the law.
Cookie monster. Throw the cookbook at him.
ReplyDeleteMust have been those high capacity double stuff assault oreos...
ReplyDeleteSedition
that's the way the cookie crumbles.
ReplyDeleteHow about this Florida woman, found via Mojave Man on Gab?:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/11/28/florida-woman-stabs-boyfriend-eye-rabies-needle/71726924007/
Wait, there's two sides to every cookie..
ReplyDeleteFour or five if you count breaking an oreo apart and eating the stuffing first.
Delete