I remember when my grandfather died in 2007 and we were making cremation arrangements. Some other funeral home was in the news for doing something shady. I've long forgotten what it was but I can sure remember it seemed like the guy couldn't go more than a minute without making a joke about them, lots of quality savage jokes too. It was a refreshing change to talk to someone in a good mood among a steady parade of fake assholes fawning all over me with fake platitudes over someone they never even met.
#7 I knew a girl in High School whose dad bought her a brand new AMC Gremlin (I am that old) and exactly that happened on the way home from the dealership.
It was a catchy tune too. While on the way to the hospital while my wife was in labor I sung this to her: Labor labor what's your function, just to give me another tax deduction. She laughed. -sammy
#16 happened to me when a young woman rear ended me in a parking lot. I checked my bumper and was going to tell her "nor harm, no foul". When I got to her car, she had taken her top off.
#6 I know a few funeral directors and they are some of the funniest people I have met.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my grandfather died in 2007 and we were making cremation arrangements. Some other funeral home was in the news for doing something shady. I've long forgotten what it was but I can sure remember it seemed like the guy couldn't go more than a minute without making a joke about them, lots of quality savage jokes too. It was a refreshing change to talk to someone in a good mood among a steady parade of fake assholes fawning all over me with fake platitudes over someone they never even met.
Delete#20 for the win!
ReplyDelete#7 I knew a girl in High School whose dad bought her a brand new AMC Gremlin (I am that old) and exactly that happened on the way home from the dealership.
ReplyDeleteGood ones as usual
ReplyDelete#5 Or you could just put one in his T zone...
ReplyDelete12 gauge if you want to disassemble him.
Delete#20 - Schoolhouse Rock was pretty cool.
ReplyDelete“Conjunction junction what’s your function? And, but and are, will get you pretty far!”
DeleteMadMarlin
It was a catchy tune too. While on the way to the hospital while my wife was in labor I sung this to her: Labor labor what's your function, just to give me another tax deduction. She laughed. -sammy
Delete#2 - Fun Fact: It's not necrophilia if they were alive when you started.
ReplyDelete#2 would be funnier if the pictures were of Hunter.
ReplyDelete#7 Had that happen to me once. But the clutch cable kept it from falling out completely.
ReplyDelete#19 Perfecto, I sent that to some folks, men and women, that will get a kick outta that.
ReplyDelete#15: Or you get there and you discover it's him and his best friend.
ReplyDelete#7. That’s staying right where it is. I know better than to pick up a tranny on the side of the road.
ReplyDeleteif ya know how to shoot, ya don't need a 45 either....
ReplyDelete#16 happened to me when a young woman rear ended me in a parking lot. I checked my bumper and was going to tell her "nor harm, no foul". When I got to her car, she had taken her top off.
ReplyDelete#8 I know the guy is being sarcastic but Isn't this basically true? It certainly is in London.
ReplyDelete